Y’all my prize hen’s just laid seven eggs! So I’m gonna have at seven more chickens in a few weeks! Can’t wait for these lil guys to hatch so I can finally meet them! #ChickenDaddy
After several unsuccessful attempts, I’ve determined that in order to transport a cart, it must not be placed ahead of a horse, as the horse lacks the necessary motor functions to efficiently push the cart. Therefore, another order in which the two entities must align is the key.
Fisherman: [hands over fish] This should hold you over for at least a day.
Man: Thank you. How did you catch this, by the way?
Fisherman: [cracks his knuckles] You’re about to be set for your whole gotdamn life.
Boss: You’ve done a great job this quarter. As a bonus, I’d like to gift you this horse.
Employee: Uh, thanks, but I don’t really have a place for-
Horse: Look in my mouth.
Employee: …Why would I-?
Horse Dentist: You really shouldn’t do that.
I love seeing dog owners with dogs that don’t match their vibe. Like I just saw guy with face tats walking a Labradoodle. On paper, those two things don’t go together, but they looked like a match made in heaven.
Just saw a guy crying in a gas station bathroom stall with the door wide open, wiping his tears with toilet paper.
No matter what kind of day I have, it’ll be better than that guy’s.
Additionally, @Klondikebar could host a competition where ppl submit videos of them doing stunts or making trick shots or sum, and the winner gets a cash prize and a ton of Klondike Bars
@Klondikebar should sponsor hardcore stunts like Red Bull, make commercials out of them, and end each one with their slogan “What would you do for a Klondike Bar?”