Zach Van Allen

Broke college graduate trying to figure out the next chapter on the fly.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Anyways, hope everyone I've fallen out with over the years are doing well. I'm out here living my dream, creating art, swimming in college debt, & actually seeing the world booked as a crossdressing comedic queen!

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Literally get on Twitter once every couple of months to yell into the void & I think that's probably equal parts healthy & unhealthy

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

There's not a more humbling feeling than finally understanding how broken you truly are.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Oh, gross... I just remembered high school was a thing we did. Yuck.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Had somebody ask "But what if you lose a bunch of weight & your actually HUNCHIER & LESS attractive?"

Then I'll balloon & gain it all back. DUH. And I'll ENJOYYYYYY it.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Sometimes, I think to myself "Not being a cute skinny twink is really hindering my love life."

Then I shrug my shoulders & gremlin hobble my ass over to the junk food cabinet.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

@_AndreaDavis @samsmith Honestly been waiting for literally months for the release & it... didn't disappoint lol

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

In other news, the rest of that new @samsmith album came out today, so... expect me to be in my feels the next couple of days.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Wow, I wrote a lot of dumbass letters in high school, huh? Just found a whole bunch of draft copies & like... damn, high school Zach, SHUDDUP!

[Vivian Vendetta Sinclaire @Vivian_Vendetta]

Like... let's be honest:
What I Want vs What I'll Get 🤣🤣🤣

[Vivian Vendetta Sinclaire @Vivian_Vendetta]

I just wanna take cute, awkward-legged, twink mirror selfies but like... I can't even see these toes, man.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Had a nice, fancy-ish dinner with some friends, last night. I felt like such a bad bitch, I ordered TWO deserts. Take THAT.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Fallout
fall·​out /ˈfȯl-ˌau̇t/
verb
: to cut off relations over a quarrel

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Can we all agree that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is a total Gemini? Because like... a total Gemini.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

*doesn't know why I wake up with aching kidneys*

*also never ever gets up to pee in the middle of the night & then has to go so bad in the morning*

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

@_AndreaDavis And when it does, it'll be so overdue & deserving! Keep pushing, girl! 😘😘

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

Moving back to Bula from Toledo at the end of August for a year to regroup & figure out the next step. Some people look at that as a punishment or a prison sentence, but I'm actually kind of excited about it.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

@MegAyee Super late to the party, but @Matt_Syrinx & I LITERALLY have kept this alive between the two of us, just to mock Lakeside culture.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

If you had Neopets trading cards as a young boy, you're part of the LGBTQ+ Community. I don't make the rules, sorry.

[Zach Van Allen @ZVan2819]

@sarahpotenza I have truly enjoyed you work since first hearing of you on The Voice. Keep rocking it!