Zach

The most auspicious young noble in the king’s high court

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

I dont care how tired you are man that hay didnt do anything to you

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

@The8BitIdiot SOMEONE’s hair envy is showing

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

People really dont name kids like they used to. There used to be hundreds, maybe even thousands of dudes walking around named Milton like it was nothing. Now we have what. Brayden, Mitchell? Go to hell.

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

And before you asked no i cant make you your own helium atom out of nothing. They also killed every neuron storing the process of how i did it because it “threatens the very fabric of reality.” I mean cmon why is everyone such a snowflake these days??

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

No one can take a joke anymore smh.

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

You break the law of conservation of mass to create a SINGLE helium atom for a ONE TIME JOKE and all of a sudden two 8-dimensional beings show up and turn your femurs inside out. I mean what happened to comedy??

[onion person @CantEverDie]

jorking peanits: haha yes!! yes this rocks

peanus horting: no. FUCK. this fucking sucks

[Worthi 🦇 @Worthikids]

WIZARD BEER

[bort @tacobort]

Could this week get any shittier

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

@_Archesuchus_ Debunked

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

@_Archesuchus_ I actually cannot believe this is real

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

No one showed up to my twitter bot baiting party:(

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

Baiting twitter bots is so funny conceptually but if you start then that just means more bots start interacting with you which just ends up being annoying so homework help im having technical trouble with my computer and need tutor free tutor for computer and school tutor school

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

Okay twitter bots you should start commenting cause if you dont that would be really embarrassing for me

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

With very generous estimates my huge, gorgeous ass will go into the public domain around 2175 so when that happens please PLEASE dont let them make a horror movie about it

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

Okay pal, you’re starting to piss me on!
🤛😡🤜

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

If someone gave me the opportunity to sacrifice a vital organ in exchange for me never ever having to do a stupid “all about me” thing in the first week of a class i would tell them to take their pick

[.｡:+*𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔯𝔢᭙ *+:｡ @EAllanHoe]

la rata bajo la lluvia

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

Where the hell i was going with this one im on the edge of my seat

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

Jog binky i know its 1224 and the “vius is over but could you please send us american more stimmy cheques now that im 18🥺🥺 i got stimullus czech fomo when you did that just so you know:/ like it made me cry a lot and i was sad when you did that just so you know://

Love,❤️ zach

[Zach @Zach_no_longer]

If you’re the type of person to walk into a a store that’s closing in 2 minutes and still decide to take your sweet ass time meandering around for another TWENTY minutes then you suck and i hope an equivalent thing happens to you at every job you work for the rest of your life🥰