Zachary Peebels

Internet Pioneer. Follow me on Facebook.

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

It had to happen eventually…. @TheRingsofPower @LOTR

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@BlizzardCS Transmog system busted af on faction changed Void Elf Demon Hunter.

[FBI Salt Lake City @FBISaltLakeCity]

We are asking for the public's help identifying this person of interest in connection with the fatal shooting of Charlie Kirk at Utah Valley University.
1-800-CALL-FBI
Digital media tips: https://t.co/K7maX81TjJ

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

Who’s coming with me?

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@PathForFreedom @deancain Don’t talk to Superman like that. Ever seen Injustice?

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@catturd2 Dan’s perception has no depth.

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@DonutOperator @covidbagofdicks My account has been open since 2011 and I’ve got 25 total likes lol. These clowns get algorithm blowjobs nightly though.

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@elonmusk GG

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@AnthonyG0528 Paper shredder

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

Peter Parker should have chose Ursula over MJ.

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@DefiantLs Nobody cares what that bitch has to say. Really wish people would just deplatform him so he has to go back to sucking trucker cock at Buccee’s.

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

I asked Grok to show me what “The Matrix” code would look like on a quantum computer. That’ll do pig, that’ll do. #grok @elonmusk @grok

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

I said what I said. #Yellowstone #Paramount #mtv #ruined #boo #trash #sucked #hotgarbage #dumpsterfire

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@ShurikenTrade

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

The World’s Most Overpriced Dungeon Master – Because Why Not?

Price: $1000 for a 4-hour session (yes, really)

Are you ready to pay a small fortune for someone to narrate dice rolls?

Look no further! For the low, low price of $1000 (roughly the cost of rent, a high-end gaming PC, or a decent used car), you can hire me—a Dungeon Master so dedicated to your entertainment that I’ve completely abandoned all sense of reasonable pricing.

What Exactly Are You Paying For?

1.A Completely Unique Adventure
Tailored specifically for you and your party! Because why settle for a free module when you can burn a grand on bespoke storytelling you’ll forget as soon as the snacks run out?
2.Custom Props & Miniatures
Oh yes, you’ll get to play with handcrafted terrain and a hand-painted miniature of your character. But don’t worry, it’s not a rental—you get to keep that 2-inch plastic figure like the true royalty you are.
3.Costumed Roleplay
I’ll show up in full cosplay because nothing says “immersive experience” like a grown adult wearing foam armor and a cloak purchased from Spirit Halloween. It’s art, darling.
4.High-End Production Value
Expect ambient music, lighting effects, and maybe even a smoke machine (if I feel like lugging it over). This is a D&D session that doubles as a fireworks display. Your neighbors will talk.
https://t.co/704aYhWcgD—A Professional Nerd™
I’ve spent years pretending to be wizards and dragons, which totally justifies the price tag. I promise to out-roleplay everyone at the table and make it all about me, just like you’re secretly hoping for.

Why $1000?

Because I can. But if you’re dying for specifics:
•Unreasonable Prep Work: I’ll spend hours designing your session instead of doing something sensible, like socializing or sleeping.
•Exclusive Keepsakes: That miniature? Yours forever. Cherish it. Worship it. Brag about it to your friends who spent their $1000 on vacations.
•Cinematic Immersion: I bring the drama, the voices, and the occasional prop that falls apart mid-session. It’s a live-action mess, and you’ll love it.
•A Ridiculous Price Tag: If it weren’t outrageously expensive, would you even care? Exactly.

Who Is This For?

•People With More Money Than Sense: Obviously.
•That Friend Who Goes Way Too Hard On Hobby Night: Yes, Karen, we see your $400 dice set.
•Anyone Who Wants To Win At D&D Flexing: What’s better than rolling a natural 20? Dropping a grand on a single session so your friends know you mean business.

Act Now, Spaces Are Limited!

(Okay, they’re not, but I have to say that to make this seem exclusive.)

Ready to pay an exorbitant fee for a night of dice-rolling, make-believe, and my undivided attention? Contact me now! Remember: spending this much on a single D&D session isn’t wasteful—it’s iconic.

Don’t let common sense stop you—roll initiative and roll deep into your wallet!

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

Netflix just pulled off the biggest troll in history.

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

@itsginnydi @stephaniebri22

[Zachary Peebels @ZacharyPeebels]

When you can’t “shut it off” you keep improving. #dungeonsanddragons #dnd #ttrpg