Zachary Swanson

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

If the next Dynasty Warriors game doesn’t look like Clair Exp 33 imma be mad

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

@Mike_Pence Turn coat

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

#SHIB 🚀🌑

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

If you’ve ever seen me drunk then you’re welcome, I guarantee your night wasn’t boring

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

If you’re ever super drunk and need to chug a water, don’t be afraid to settle for half, cause If you couldn’t make it on the whole thing you prolly a goner anyway

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

Kitten in the streets lion in the sheets

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

#Millennials are the generation of recycled memes

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

https://t.co/qtEOeunA7y

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

Almost ran my dishwasher today. This is a big step for me 🤔.

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

I just showed my dad a meme and he goes "Oh, I saw that one already" and I'm not sure how to handle it 😆

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

Catalyst inefficiency bank 1 day

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

Anyone else have the Chipotle app on their home screen or is it just me 🤔

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

My anxiety be like... "why tf hasn't my number neighbor texted me yet"

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

Thank you @neffexmusic for spending 65 hours with me this year on @Spotify. You are my #1. #spotifywrapped

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

It's not drinking alone with all these different personalities, bro gimmie a shot for all of us

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

Apologizes in some circumstances should be eerily similar to a promise

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

When your stomach growls does your cat think you're purring back?

[Zachary Swanson @Zachyattacky]

"Southern Comfort, sounds like it would be a laxative" - Savannah