Zack Bornstein

Emmy-losing Writer/Director/Comedian (#Shrinking, @nbcSNL, #StrangePlanet, @HBO, @Netflix, @Hulu, @Dreamworks, @JimmyKimmelLive, @NewYorker)

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

until the day I die I will never understand why he was even still allowed to run after this

[Chris Hayes @chrislhayes]

It quite literally might be the singlest funniest thing that has ever happened in politics, ever.

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

@chrislhayes Gonna be hard to top this one

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Happy Four Seasons Total Landscaping day to all who celebrate

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

I could write jokes for 800 years and I'd never think of something funnier than Trump booking the Four Seasons for his big presser, and it turning out to be the Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot between a dildo store and a crematorium.

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Pretty wild how much an entire country’s vibe can change in 2 years when you spend every day all day actively making their lives worse

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Bro got beat so bad he didn’t even try calling it rigged

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

@_AlexHirsch That was his one saving grace

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Genuinely shocked that Trump’s platform to raise prices, go to war for no reason, and gun down nurses in the streets didn’t resonate with the electorate

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

@ModeratelyMused Get real

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Turns out all the Democrats needed to sweep was 12 straight years of abject hell and plummeting living conditions

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

@rachelsklar Treat yourself

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

been so long i truly don’t know how to process good news

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Democrats have had the Senate for an hour and I already got a slip in the mail that says men are no longer allowed to eat meat and love their hot wife

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Blue wave so big, they’re saying that if you don’t invite a migrant to have sex with your wife by noon tomorrow, Cory Booker will show up at your dad’s house and turn him trans

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

America right now:

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Woah I didn’t even know they could point that way

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

didn’t know that democrats were even legally allowed to win

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Wtf is happening, Nancy Pelosi just showed up at my doorstep and forced my cat to be trans

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

BREAKING

Democrats take their first lead ever in Racismville, South Carolina, a district Trump won by +100 in 2024, but after all the drinking water was converted into data centers and gas prices reached $2, some stalwart GOP voters have changed their mind

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Blue wave so strong, they’re already saying if you don’t have your pronouns back in your email signature by noon tomorrow, Cory Booker will show up at your parents house and make your mom do the Nae Nae

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

Honestly don’t think I’d know what to do with a positive election outcome, does it hurt? Does it feel itchy? Is is yummy?