Zaf

[siddharth sarvaiya @sidd_sarvaiya]

@PunsterX

[Zaf @ZafferM]

@RoflGandhi_ "Na khaaunga, na khaane dunga" was about eggs only

[Praveer Tripathi @praveer65]

Sabeer, your friend should have known that proposing at the Taj Mahal requires submitting Form L-69 (Love Proposal Clearance) to the Dharm Rakshak Helpdesk™ in triplicate, duly notarized by a gazetted officer, with self-attested photocopies of Aadhaar, passport, and gotra certificate.
Mandatory enclosures: Sacred thread affidavit, police verification report, character certificate from local thana, and vigilance clearance.
“Permission to Love” license issued by your nearest Bajrang Dal franchise after background check and cultural compatibility test (10am–5pm, closed during routine moral policing ops). Processing fee: one bribe + your dignity. Timeline: 6–8 weeks, subject to availability of concerned authority.
Shah Jahan built this monument for eternal love without filing any NOC. That was a Rookie mistake under the new Cultural Purity Guidelines.
Next: ASI installs Aadhaar-linked caste calculator at entrance. Centralized gotra database launches Q3. Ministry of Moral Policing to notify “I Love You” Standard Operating Procedure by Diwali.
This is truly Amrit Kaal, Sabeer. We’re building a fully file-noted, pre-approved, RTI-proof Viksit Bharat. 🙄
(Applications in interfaith category auto-rejected. Love not guaranteed. Terms & conditions apply. Appeal lies with the appropriate authority.)

[Khamenei Media @Khamenei_m]

Contrary to Western civilization, where the powerful prey on the innocent, here was a man who lifted girls toward dignity, advising them to be among the prominent women of Iran — of whom there are many — and urging them to study, to strive, and to build the beloved Iran.

[Mohammed Zubair @zoo_bear]

15 जून को केंद्रीय मंत्री किरेन रिजिजू ने कहा कि भारत में मुसलमानों की सुरक्षा पर सवाल उठाना देश को बदनाम करने के जैसा है. #AltNews ने उसी हफ़्ते मुस्लिम विरोधी हिंसा, धमकी, लक्षित उत्पीड़न और नफरत की 6 घटनाओं को डॉक्युमेंट किया. देखिए #AltNewsVideoReport

[Dhruv Rathee @dhruv_rathee]

Yet another paper leak under this Modi Govt..

[ravish kumar @ravish_journo]

अंडा से इतनी दुश्मनी मत कीजिए, ऑमलेट पसंद नहीं तो बॉयल खाइये। बंगाल में भी खाइये. बिहार में भी खाइये। बच्चों को खिलाइये, ख़ुद भी खाइये। जो खाते हैं उनको खाने दीजिए, जो नहीं खाते हैं उन्हें मत दीजिए। लेकिन जो मन करता है वही कीजिए। अंडा क्या दाल भी बंद कर दीजिए, भात भी बंद कर दीजिए। बंद करते करते खुद को कमरे में बंद कर लीजिए।

[वरुण 🇮🇳 @varungrover]

Ye international technology hai aapko dheere dheere samajh aayegi.

[वरुण 🇮🇳 @varungrover]

The peeps in business of religion have the greatest conviction that there are no Gods and no repercussions for any acts good or bad. Hence they indulge in the most immoral acts with confidence. Religion for them is the gateway to power and money - the real gods they believe in.

[Iran in Ghana @IRAN_GHANA]

On this day in Karbala, Imam Hussein chose to lose his life, his family, and his few companions over submission and silence.
Karbala was never just a battlefield.
It was a mirror, where every soul, in every age, must face the same question:
Will you bow to what is wrong, or stand with what is right, even if you stand alone?
#Ashura #ImamHussein

[Pawan Khera 🇮🇳 ಪವನ್ ಖೇರಾ @Pawankhera]

Dear Dharmendra Uncle,
@dpradhanbjp

Happy Birthday. You turn 57 today. We couldn't even reach half your age.

Yours,
Late Ritik Mishra
Late Anshika Pandey
Late Bhagyashree
Late Umesh Mali
Late Riya Kumari Thapa
Late Anukeerthana
Late Rima Begum
Late Siddharth Hegde
Late Pradeep Meghwal
Late Shivani Yadav
Late Renu Meena
Late Akansha
Late Kahan Patel
Late Maithili Sonwane

[Rofl Gandhi 2.0 🏹 Commentary @RoflGandhi_]

बूढ़े से उसके कट्टर समर्थक भी पक चुके हैं। अब वो छोटे किन्नू की तरफ आस भरी नजर से देख रहे हैं।

लेकिन बेचारों को अंदाजा नहीं है कि बूढ़ा कम से कम सुनने की एक्टिंग तो करता है, किन्नू तो सीधा कहेगा कि नौटंकी मत करो, घर जाओ, नहीं तो टांग में गोली मार दूंगा।

[Anika M @Anika_Breaths]

BJP just offered me peanuts to tweet for them.

I said, “Keep the change. I’ll appreciate you for free.”

Here’s my complimentary appreciation post:

1. Atal Bihari Vajpayee was a great statesman.

2. I deeply admire Modi ji’s skincare routine. Whatever combination of glutathione, retinol, collagen peptides, Korean serums and divine blessings he’s using deserves a Nobel Prize in skincare and Anti aging phenomenon.

3. I also want the address of those legendary mushrooms. They seem to unlock dimensions invisible to ordinary citizens.

4. Amit Shah’s kutniti deserves its own MBA specialization: “Advanced Narrative Engineering & Political Chess.”

5. BJP has mastered the art of narrative-building so brilliantly that I wish they had been in power when I was in primary school. I’d never have failed Maths, I would’ve simply reframed 27/100 as “a historic mandate with selective numerical challenges.”

6. Thanks to BJP, I now know how to present unfinished work to my boss as a “transformational achievement.”

7. I grew up believing Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Sikhs and everyone else were simply fellow human beings. BJP Politics later introduced me to the fascinating business model of manufacturing permanent divisions.

8. Thank you, BJP, for teaching an entire generation that every issue can be converted into a battlefield, every disagreement into a conspiracy, and every criticism into an anti-national plot.

Overall, I lob… sorry, love Modi ji.

His skin reflects sunlight so efficiently that ISRO should consider using it as an alternative satellite reflector.

Too cute he is ❤️✨

[Mahua Moitra @MahuaMoitra]

I am a Member of Parliament with a passport issued by the Union Government but I’m not sure I am an Indian citizen & have no way to prove it. What a mockery of constitutional democracy.

[PunsterX @PunsterX]

This is brilliant! 🔥

Inspired by Nitin Gadkari, dairy farmers in Jaipur have introduced M0, M50 and M100 milk.

M100 milk is best for health and can even be consumed by lactose intolerant people. Because it is pure water! 🤣

[Saket Gokhale @SaketGokhale]

Quick test: can you prove you’re an Indian citizen?

Go through your documents.

👉 Passport — NO
👉 Aadhaar — NO
👉 PAN — NO
👉 Voter ID — NO
👉 Driving Licence — NO
👉 Bank Passbook — NO
👉 Domicile Certificate — NO
👉 Govt Employee ID — NO
👉 Property Papers — NO
👉 Birth Certificate — NO (unless you were born before 1 July 1987)

Not a single document that you have is proof of your Indian citizenship. So if the government asks you to “prove” you’re a citizen, you can’t.

Now connect the dots.

Modi-Shah and their poodle Gyanesh Kumar at ECI are conducting the SIR across India.

When you’re asked to prove your citizenship, what document will you show? You just saw the list. None of them work.

You will then be deleted as a voter and your citizenship will be “doubtful”.

What’s the next step?

That will be the NRC (National Register of Citizens).

In Assam’s NRC, 19 lakh people were left off the list of citizens. Many were declared “foreigners” over a misspelt name or a missing date.

Across states, BJP is building detention centers. Are these for “infiltrators”? NO.

These mass detention centers are being built to keep people who cannot prove that they are Indian citizens.

So if you are convinced that you’re an Indian citizen, think again.

When the govt asks you to “prove you’re Indian,” remember who’s actually deciding your citizenship: Modi, Shah, and their hand-picked Election Commission.

This is the BIGGEST DANGER facing our country. To cling on to power by manipulating elections, Modi-Shah will even delete you as a voter & then strip off your citizenship.

Why do you think the BJP is spending hundreds of crores right now to buy MPs from other parties? All of this is for a 2/3rd majority in Parliament which would allow them to change the Constitution.

And once they are able to change the Constitution, it’s GAME OVER for Indian democracy.

Question is: will you stand up and raise your voice against this? Or will you be mute spectators while they destroy your rights in front of your eyes?

[PunsterX @PunsterX]

Maths question for Class 5:

A landowner sold a piece of land to a middleman for ₹2 crore. 10 minutes later, the middleman sold the same piece of land to a Temple Trust for ₹18.5 crore.

What was the increase in the value of land per second?

[Mohammed Zubair @zoo_bear]

An Indian Express investigation of land records by @mazoomdaar has found, Since he took oath as CM of Madhya Pradesh on December 13, 2023, Mohan Yadav’s family and their real estate companies have bought at least 137 plots, adding up to 168 acres, for Rs 45 crore, in zones most benefited by this infrastructure push. https://t.co/2hc7buekUQ

[Sann @san_x_m]

Her name was Neha Shoree.

She was a drug inspector in Punjab.

In 2009, while posted in Ropar, she raided a chemist shop run by a man named Balwinder Singh.

During the inspection, she found dozens of types of tablets commonly misused by drug addicts. According to official records, he could not produce the required documents for them.

She cancelled his licence.

Then she moved on and continued doing her job.

By 2016, Neha Shoree had become the zonal licensing authority at a government drug laboratory in Kharar, near Mohali.

She was thirty six years old.

She had a young daughter at home. Her father was a retired Army captain who had fought in the 1971 war.

The man whose licence she had cancelled never forgot what had happened.

On the morning of March 29, 2019, Balwinder Singh walked into her office in Kharar carrying a licensed revolver.

He shot her inside her workplace.

Neha Shoree was rushed towards a hospital but died on the way.

The gunman then turned the weapon on himself and died soon afterwards.

According to the police, she had been due to testify against him in court.

Ten years had passed since the raid.

Ten years after she enforced the law, he came back for revenge.

Her father later said that his daughter had lived under pressure for years because of her work, but she never compromised and never backed down.

She was killed for doing exactly what the job had asked her to do.

Follow for verified stories every Indian deserves to know.

[Dhruv Rathee @dhruv_rathee]

One guy is looting money by forcing Ethanol
Another is land grabbing for his real estate empire
One is making money from leaking exam papers
Another is looting by selling the Nicobar Island

Top to bottom, everything is corrupt and compromised in this Modi govt.