Zë

Marvel homeboy ✌️ Law grad 🎓 Life would be so much easier if I was one of the X-Men tbh 🔥

[Zë @ZoeEchelonH]

*Old judges nervous sweating in the distance over what constitutes 'aggressive' vs 'gentle' whipping*

[Nico @nico_w1992]

@megnturner_ @ActualCocaCola

[Beth McColl @imbethmccoll]

Jason Derulo has slipped on Harry Styles’ spit and fallen down the stairs at the Venice Film Festival

[ProlificJAE🦋 @jaejacobss]

Only thing I hate about falling out with people is the version of their story they go tell 😭 cous ima tell the whole truth even the part that make me look bad but people be LYING, telling half stories cous they need sympathy.

[Kandon @KandonDortch]

I love being alone, I hate feeling alone...it’s a difference

[kelsie @iPad_Latino]

Me: brutally murdered and found dumped on the side of the highway
Two 35yr old women with a podcast: ok murder muffins we got a real oopy goopy spoopy story for you today!
Squarespace ad: ARE YOU LOOKING TO EXPAND Y

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

And I have used a deadly phaser many times on screen even though I’m a non-violent Buddhist. What’s your damn point?

[Oliver Darkshire 🌈 @deathbybadger]

misogyny is being able to scrape 3/5 of anakin skywalker off the floor of a volcano planet and turn him into a cyborg laser warlord, but padme dies of a "broken heart" in a fully equipped future-tech medical facility

[Adam Karpiak @Adam_Karpiak]

I’m sick of people dismissing remote work as “pretending to work” or “working in your pjs.” How about “not wasting valuable hours of your life commuting” or “being a part of your kids’ lives.”

[aïs @glamgamine]

one thing i will never understand abt adulthood is how i’m supposed to make appointments if i work full time and every place closes at 6 pm

[trash jones @jzux]

feeling sad today. can everyone please send cute pictures of their credit card, front and back?

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

jk rowling getting endorsed by vladimir putin is an almost cosmically beautiful fuck around and find out scenario

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

No I dont iron my clothes, I dont need to. I simply hang them up in the bathroom while I shower so they get steamed. No it doesn’t work I just wear wrinkled clothes every day. Where am I going, to the opera?

[Jasmyn @JasmynBeKnowing]

I need more loaves of bread made for people who live alone. Like 4 -5 slices max.
What Imma do with 20 slices of bread in 1.5 weeks?

[trash jones @jzux]

being an adult is wild because you’ll just be crying in your room and five minutes later boom you’re on a work call

[evanthomas.nyc on bsky @EvanDerekThomas]

Me as a guest: omg don’t even lift a finger. your place is perfect as is. love u king :)
Me hosting: if anyone sees a single speck of dust I am a complete failure

[Hurt Cobain 🧛‍♀️ @RenyXO]

I wish I could quit my job so I can focus on my true passion which is sleeping