Zoe Kennard

when we look back 30 years from now tonight will seem uncomfortable

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Things people thought I was for Halloween:
- a nurse
- an Erudite from Divergent
- Pete the Cat (I was expecting this one)
- Madeline
- a mouse

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Sometimes you can just willfully ignore this. In my world Riptide by Vance Joy mentions a "cow monster." Do I know that those are absolutely not the words? Yes. Do I care? No ❤️

[Maggie Stiefvater Updates @mstiefvater]

No disappointment like realizing 1) you misheard a song's lyrics and 2) you liked your version better

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

@mstiefvater This makes me think of one of my favorite lines in Treasure Island:

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

I love my flip phone but I did just accidentally squish a beetle in it and I did not love that

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Like I KNOW what she meant. Simmons has a big library program so they probably have some mending classes. But just the implication that it's a default of going there AND that a stranger would know that LMAO

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Thinking about the patron who came in on Thursday with a book with pages out and (correctly) assumed we wouldn't want her to try to fix it herself but then mentioned "I mean I actually went to Simmons so I do have some book tape." Girl I went to Simmons too wtf do you mean

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Starting a new fashion trend called "bring a water bowl out to a hot dog outside the library and the dog immediately jumps on you so you have a huge splash of water down your pant leg for however long it takes to dry"

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

I'm making an illuminated manuscript and it is progressing at a pace which could generously be described as glacial

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Can't get over the people I was rooting for winning both the Amazing Race and Survivor this season

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Keep getting ads for the Avett Brothers concert tomorrow and I know they have a lot of empty seats and it's driving me crazy because I would in fact really like to go to that show but they're charging more than I'm personally willing to pay 😭

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Just had a circulation department meeting and my supervisor asked what we're thinking for the next display and why did I say "Books" alsnjsjdja

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Today I started to flip through a bat book hoping for some cute bat pictures and quickly landed on a picture of a bat penis and unfortunately I keep picturing it

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

@k_howard97 Not enough

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

@k_howard97 And once again they have no idea what The People really want (Trent Crimm)

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Shout-out to the patron I was helping when I tripped on a mat and went flying for going along with me acting like nothing happened

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Dear Microsoft,
The fact that you've inserted a "summarize with copilot" banner on the top of every email in my inbox and a "draft with copilot" logo right where I'm trying to type in my Word documents suggests you think I'm illiterate! I'm pleased to report I am not!
Best,
Zoe

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Today I picked up the phone at work and meant to say "How can I help you?" and instead said "How can you help me?"
Where is the lying facedown on the floor emoji

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

I posted a screenshot of a text from Kate on tumblr and someone stole it and posted it on here oh my GOD

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

Squandered the chance to own Moritz's wings from Selfie Stick Spring Awakening today and I'm definitely not sitting here moping about it

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

"I'm a former cop and Joyce Craig put the needs of the homeless ahead of 'us'" cool I don't respect you even a little bit

[Zoe Kennard @ZoeKennard]

The anti-Joyce Craig ads are so HATEFUL towards homeless people. Like it is so transparent that they don't see them as human beings. Well guess what, now I'm going to vote against Ayotte even harder than I was already going to!