Zoe Sloane

I got a BFA but now I write puns about lip gloss.

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

@Wordsarewordz Antisemitic BULLSHIT

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

@paheringer @GeminiTrustCo I've been living under a rock and didn't file a claim. Does that mean I get nothing?

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

Zero desire to be a comedian anymore despite being funnier than ever.

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

Well I’d love to burn this house to the ground but it’s so moist with mold it probably wouldn’t even catch fire 🔥

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

@donaldglover Not me spending a week on my submission only to be caught in "submit now" purgatory.

[Dave @lildickytweets]

retweet if you want a season 3

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

Just made a special spot under my mattress to store my cash. Assuming bank accounts and my right to own land are to go next. Better ask my Dad to write me note I can wear around my neck to let people know I'm allowed to be out on my own... America truly hates women.

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

When I see men in my office my gut reaction is to ask them if they’re lost, and I think that tell you everything you need to know about the company culture.

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

@Eborys2 Why would anyone do that? Lol

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

Is there not even the tiniest possibility that a rich man can be the victim of abuse? #DeppHeardTrial

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

@timkubart Same. He’s a nice guy.

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

My Dad was adopted & raised in NYC by a Jewish Ukrainian refugee. Like many he feels helpless, angry, & horrified to see, 100 years later, brutal history repeating. Tonight we went to a concert, he showed up in this T. #IYKYK #StandWithUkraine️ #FCKPTN @veselkanyc @pcvstdog

[devdog @pcvstdog]

Zelensky: If West won't impose no-fly zone, "give me the planes" https://t.co/wcjAqddKA5 and more anti-aircraft weapons.

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

In 1920 my grandmother’s family emigrated to the US from Kyiv to flee from Russian oppression. She was 12 years old then. She used to tell my Dad horrible stories about Russian cruelties and brutality. History repeats 100 years later. #UkraineRussiaWar #StandWithUkrian #fckputin

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

@timkubart Mental illlnessss (dunana dununeh)🎶🎶🎶

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

I made a really poor decision for my mental health this week and followed #KanyeWest on Instagram. I know can unfollow but can my mind really? REALLY?

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

Can someone please explain to me the masculine urge to decorate one’s home in blacks and grays? Asking for every woman ever..

[Zoe Sloane @ZoeSloane]

Hey guys, my weekend was great.

[Rachele Friedland @Rachele_F]

You’re in his DMs, he’s in the shower pulling my hair out of his butt crack. We are not the same.

[Chy Davin @chydavin]

We surprised our quarantined bestie on her birthday and partied like it was March 2020.