Matt Shurina

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

Whoever invented cheesecake deserves a Nobel prize

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

Ya know what, I’m gonna say it. Shrek 2 is the best movie of all time, and it’s not even a debate.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

Do a shotgun for every Steelers win here’s to week 11!

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

“I am the bread” #breadpug

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

@suppeen This is a valid point and I’m now upset with you.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

Maybe the best thing me and @karliediruzza have ever bought!

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

“If you want white people to go crazy and get involved you gotta pull out a T-shirt cannon.” - Brennan Kelly

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

Happy 1st birthday to my puggo Reginald T. Puggensworth. He may be a shitbean but we have fun.

[Stumbler @StumblerUSA]

Wtf... The biggest fright of my life in 3...2...

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

Idk who needs to hear this but if you actually like the song old town road, you’re what’s wrong with society.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

Everyone in philly cracked open a Pepsi on that last timeout and it worked!

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

@skylerbevans I found out what that deke is for.

[Pittsburgh Penguins @penguins]

Captain's got hopz.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

A lot of people say that a tie is worse than a loss, but those people haven’t lost as many games as the browns.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

If your’e not drinking you better be driving.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

Just found out that @karliediruzza has been using my toothbrush for who knows how long because she doesn’t go by color LIKE WE PLANNED but by what side it’s on. I. Am. Disgusted.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

@coachrussellTMC Yes and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

You know you’re on a budget when you pack your lunch with a sandwich that has both heels from the loaf of bread. #weneedmorebread

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

I hate when I clip my nails and can't pick my nose as efficiently.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

The worst friend I have is @iJakeRoberts.

[Matt Shurina @Zoretich197]

I think the biggest fuck you possible is to have someone outbid you by $1 on the price is right and win. Straight ruthless.