Alan Partridge

I'm Alan Partridge

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

@piersmorgan Bollocks! You couldn't present a cat

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!

#wrongbond

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

Can you fingerprint a sausage?

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#MentionSomeoneWhoMakesYouHappy

The lovely Jill

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

This Steve Coogan guy really knows his onions

#bbcqt

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

@piersmorgan oh fuck off!

#bbcqt

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#QuestionsIHateBeingAsked if I want to be booked in for Christmas dinner at Linton Travel Tavern, in MAY!!

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#IGotDrunkAnd got caught by police stealing traffic cones

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#IGotDrunkAnd tried to cook all the food

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#ihaveaweakspotfor Ursula Andress

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

Sunday bloody Sunday

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#YouWereHotUntil I found out you're a bloke. I've a good mind to knock your block off!

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

AH HAAAA!

#ThingsIGetAlot

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

@WhoScores Classic Queen!

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#OneOfMyFavoriteMusicArtist

The lovely Kate Bush

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe, but this isn't Britain, dis is da autobahn!

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

@BillOddie Abso-bloody-exactly!

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#WordsISayWhenImMad

You couldn't present a cat

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#WordsISayWhenImMad

STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!

[Alan Partridge @_AlanPartridge_]

#WordsISayWhenImMad

Oh Fuck Off!