AllUpInMyHead

Follow me at @itsamyklink

[AllUpInMyHead @_AllUpInMyHead]

I am now at @itsamyklink - new profile, same old nonsense.

[Mara Wilson @MaraWilson]

I love when people call me Matilda when they think I’m being too opinionated or political

Because Matilda, who incited a riot at her school and got rid of an abusive tyrant at age six, wouldn’t be political at all

[AllUpInMyHead @_AllUpInMyHead]

@KimmyMonte

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Seriously considering a career change.

Anyone know where I can find a radioactive spider?

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

BABY

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Them: Hey! Do you have any weekend plans?
Me: No.
Them: Oh, well would you like to-
Me: No.
Them: Ha, I didn't even finish my-
Me: No.
Them:
Me: No.

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Reduce, reuse, rerooster.

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

What you can't see here:

- the odd woman laying on her stomach to get the right angle
- all the people staring at her
- the same odd woman sprinting to catch the streetcar she almost missed because she was taking pictures

Don't worry guys, she made it. 🏃🏽‍♀️

#CloserPhotography

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Someone I adore and have adored for my whole life beat cancer today.

Kicked. Its. Ass.

The happy in my heart can't be contatined.

Sucks to suck, cancer.

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

My boyfriend came grocery shopping with me tonight and when he started grabbing all of the bags, I told him he was sweet but he didn't need to do that, I could carry some too.

He then hissed at me and walked away, with all of the bags.

And they say chivalry is dead...

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Today was a chainsaw, and I'm a balloon.

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

*crawls up next to the monster under the bed*

"Scooch over."

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

when there's birthday cake in the break room

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

twinkle twinkle produce aisle
how you send me to denial
buying things I'll never eat
they rot until they smell like feet
twinkle twinkle produce aisle
cereal is more my style

[Saddington 3 (in theaters) @2Saddington]

The fact that Donkey Kong dismantled an entire fascist regime solely on bananas taught me to never underestimate the power of potassium

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Me: "I don't want to forget this, so I'd better write it down."

Brain: "Nah, dude! We're good!"

Me: "You sure?"

Brain: "I got this."

*later*

Me: "So hey, what was that thing we need to remember?"

Brain:

[Chaz Hutton @chazhutton]

Just chatting to a grandmother who was trying to explain that something went ‘viral‘ but come up with ‘it’s gone feral‘ - and I for one will now be using that phrase from now on.

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

*makes a decision*

Anxiety: *GASP* Are-are you sure?!
Existentialism: Ok but how does this impact everyone and everything?
ADHD: I'm bored.

Me: Guys, we really need to get this done-

Anxiety: AHH! DEADLINES?
Existentialism: What is "done" anyway?
ADHD: *looking at cat videos*

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Ok, @hulu, you know what to do here.

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Ok but seriously, why DO birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

That sounds rather scary. And hectic. Messy, too. This isn't a Hitchcock film. Explain yourself.

[Girl, Caffeinated ☕ @girIcaffeinated]

Me: *heads to bed*
Brain: WAIT! What if I told you that there was a DIFFERENT sleeping option?
Me: Hmm. Go on.
Brain: Introducing THE COUCH. It's both narrow AND less comfy!
Me: The couch, you say! But wait - will it also give me back problems?
Brain: Oh, you betcha!
Me: SOLD!