Allie

Geeky historian.
Enthusiastic photographer.
EDS #zebra.
Potsie #spoonie.
Union member/worker.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Sorry I haven't been too responsive with my texting today. I'm not wearing my smartwatch and keep forgetting I need to check my actual phone for messages like a peasant.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Listen, I move my phone closer to my head to better hear the video playing whilst I have ear buds in, so I really don't know how well we should trust my judgement.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Me, creating "that" fanfic: Plot yes
Me, reading "that" fanfic: Plot no

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

I appreciate my car's lane departure warning; however that was, in fact, a salt line. Not a road line.

@JensenAckles @jarpad how much experience y'all got with exorcising Subaru Outbacks?

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Listen. Idc what size hands you have. Square nails will *always* make your fingers look chubbier than what they are.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Okay but why does 2012 @markiplier look like 2002 Clive Owen in the Bourne Identity

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

"They call me the Tony Hawk of skateboarding" - @Jacksepticeye, 2025

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

So uhhh, how many OG brownie points does this get me? @markiplier

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

The downside (one of many) to previously having an eating disorder is that it never completely goes away and every time you go on a diet, it's right there like "eyyyyy 👀"

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

There were a lot of bad decisions made in Revenge of the Sith but arguably the worst one was having a single button to deactivate the shields on a planet made of lava.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

*looking for something long to watch*
*Finds @markiplier 's RE2 playthrough*
*It's from 5 years ago*
Me: Ah okay so from his red hair era, like 2016*
*It's actually from 2020*

What even is time, anymore. Send help.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

"omg there's so much snow the roads are awful I was in an accident on the way to work"

Then why TF ARE YOU ON THE ROADS. STAY YA ASS HOME.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Me: I don't know what I want to watch
Husband: Why aren't you watching xyz show?
Me: No you don't understand, that's my 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 show. I can't watch it at 10 am. I don't make the rules.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Weekly petition to *please* cancel the word "hubby". God it gives me the ick. It reeks of rich, spoiled brat.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

I don't understand why the older folk will be just so pushy and adamant about wanting grandkids.

Do you want your kid to have kids for them, or for you? I mean tbh it's really fucking selfish to push the issue all the time.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Cats be like: "oh, don't mind me. I'm juuusttt gonna *yawn* hop up here where, weirdly enough, you have a fresh baked loaf of bread. I don't care though. I just want to lay right here all of a sudden. Don't look at me."

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Helena Bonham Carter pretending to be Emma Watson as Hermione Granger pretending to be Bellatrix is absolute peak acting

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Brandon wanted a new cologne, I had $100 to spend to become a diamond rewards member at Ulta. This is what we call cooperation in a marriage.

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

God can we PLEASE just cancel the word hubby 🤢

[Allie @_Ally_Pally]

Love it when people complain on social media how their speciality coffee was wrong and they're bitching up a storm when in reality they got the correct order - they just don't know what they're asking for 🙃