Austin Perry

Amateur Professional Film and Television Critic - Ex-Professional Musician - Future History Teacher (?)

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

If we evolved from apes why are there still apes?

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

@DustinCuriel Enhance.

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

Santa actually has an intricate post system built on the back of blue collar elves. He does very little work and gets all the glory. On top of this he is able to violate many laws to take advantage of his workers due to making everyone think he is fake.

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

In case you were wondering, for Santa, in a single 24-hr Earth-night, to deliver presents to all those who celebrate Christmas, he must visit 25,000 homes per second.

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

If you are in Kansas' 114th District feel free to write me in for State Representative #IVoted

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

Big win for Kansas

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

@CordaRico Might also be your dumb ball which doesn't want to listen

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

That's no moon...

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

@CordaRico Proud of you

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

@CordaRico Definitely don't want to come across as too needy when using the windshield wipers

[Austin Perry @_AustinPerry]

@CordaRico My condolences

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

"You're so misinformed, it's extraordinary ... what are you talking about" -- Fauci to Roger Marshall