Rob

CAUTION: May contain sarcasm. And occasional irony. Traces of facetiousness. Outright lies guaranteed.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

"Weltengesichtpfeifenschuldigung" is the German word for "accepting as a fact something you've just been told without bothering to check".

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

You can tell a lot about a person from the size of the swastika flag they’re Nazi saluting.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

@Browna27 Hi Angie.
I think you wrote this article: Trails of blood in the snow - 40 years on from the Glencorse Massacre - BBC News
It's really interesting, but you refer to the police inspector by 3 different names through the piece ("Tom Wood", "Tom Woods", and "Tom Walker")

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

The practice of ignoring emails was invented by Marcus Redd.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

"Weltengesichtpfeifenschuldigung" is the German word for "accepting as a fact something you've just been told without bothering to check".

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

https://t.co/m6SgXLpjzs

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

If a new drug hit the streets that killed and hospitalised as many people as dogs do each year, how many days before it was made illegal?

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

https://t.co/C8pRZfBU55

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

Ok, *now* they have.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

Looks like Arsenal have managed to sign a player who can justify wearing a shirt with all that gold piping on it now.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

Looks like Arsenal have managed to sign a player who can justify wearing a shirt with all that gold piping on it now.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

Really enjoying #PokerFace’s Knives Out meets Fargo meets Columbo vibe. Always fun to watch Natasha Lyonne playing that Natasha Lyonne character too.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

I’m just glad to see a government commit resources to solving the problem of desperate people paying thousands of pounds to unscrupulous crooks so that they can attempt a dangerous sea journey in an unsafe vessel.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

This is literally happening in my office too.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

I investigate employee misconduct for a living.

Last week someone resigned rather than face the disciplinary hearing resulting for our investigation.

It was simultaneously a clear admission of guilt and a transparent attempt to avoid the consequences of their own actions.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

No thanks, I’m already tired and people having been telling me I’m a sell out for years.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

When we’d been married 10 or 12 years I used to joke that if I’d done a murder instead I’d be up for parole about then.
Now we’ve been married so long I’m like one of those old lags who knows he couldn’t survive on the outside. The world has changed too much while I’ve been away.

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

Exam question: if it takes 1 person 2 hours to dig a hole, how long will it take 5 people to make a fucking coffee in Starbucks?

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

Some of the stops on the Elizabeth Line have really strange names.

[Olaf Falafel @OFalafel]

How was it for you?
…

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

Genuinely wondering how long it’ll be before I start thinking of the Lockdown Years of 2020 and 2021 as the best years of my life.

[Adrian Bliss @adrianbliss]

Picasso tries to sell a painting

[Rob @_Bankrobber_]

Ted Lasso S2 E9 is the perfect example of why it’s better to binge tv shows several episodes at a time instead of one per week. I cannot imagine how it must have felt waiting a week to watch your favourite show and then sitting through that.