BeastModer

funny adjacent dog

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

Driving with no shoes on, to bribe the officer(s) #noticket #heremytoes

[gunnar @GunnzMetzger]

currently in a retardationship with another retard

[monkey car @PrimateVehicle]

Yes it is my boner however I'm quite upset to see you

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

Ive become distracted... traveling the wilderness... picking ivy.... truly the path intended for me by the lord.. cant wait to find a wolf girl to rub this on #poisonivyplay

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

Pronouns are It/She for a reason #poisonivyplay

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

@WendeLynn_ I likes it what's i said so I says it again, but louder

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

So tired of near misses im numb to the gut shot

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

Not a bit btw Lmao

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

Calmly discussing when a good time to fire me would be with my manager #beastmode (Tuesday)

[🔞 omega! toga🔞 🦴 @uravityskitten]

mean girls are hot but only if they have an obvious sweet spot for you

[Rock Solid @ShitpostRock]

“A fish doesn’t know land. Doesn’t make grass niche”

[zombie @marsfairyy]

can u message me so i can message you back

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

Fell off my bike today.. palms got all bloody. Too bad I didnt fall inna bush full of poison ivy. That would've made it worth. #poisonivyplay

[alyssa @straydoglullaby]

aughh i bet ur using me just to talk to me.., aughh ur using me just to be friends

[pinkie @pinkamaniaa]

i’m so sorry for how i acted when there were multiple noises happening at once

[birdie :) @asifoncue]

pronouncing polycules like it’s some forgotten Greek god

[BeastModer @_BeastModer_]

older woman at the bar wrote her number on my arm with a sharpie and asked me to call her so i could help, "scratch her itch". wat dat mean? #poisonivyplay

[phoenix ⋆˙⟡ @rama__une]

things to say to your 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁:

1. where are my 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀

2. how many 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 am i holding up

3. what are your intentions with my 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

4. i brought my own 𝗲𝘆𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝘁

5. can i touch your 𝗲𝘆𝗲𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘀

6. i can’t 𝘀𝗲𝗲

[Lilly @lilly_of_valley]

Things to say to an avoidant partner:

When am I allowed to 𝐬𝐚𝐲 I love you?

What are your intentions with my 𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞𝐬?

Let me speak to your daddy issues 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲

Sell me never referring to us 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

I brought my own 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲

[🕷️ @rtzvv]

this is something only substance abuse can fix