Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire

#Ghostwriter for hire. #Author. Alien masquerading as human. Following Christ. Married to a human cupcake. Dad to angelspawn. He/him. | #amwriting

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

You step deeper into the dungeon. The light of your torch flickers and goes out. You are in darkness. Footsteps approach, claws grind against the stone walls. And then, out of the gloom, a voice ...

“HI I’M CALEB PEIFFER I’M A WRITER BUY MY BOOKS!”

You flee in terror.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@mrbrianrowe Not a movie, but Daredevil S3.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@u_spellings Unpnecessary.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@DzintraSullivan This is all that remains of a peaceful gathering of Jedi after a merciless clone blastering …

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@wangwrites_ Congratulations! This news came to me about five tweets down after someone waxing humorous about sad lit mag rejections so you brightened my day.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@deltawriter12 I’m in this tweet

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@Write_Like_Mad The blood of Mr. Sandman.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

Society is founded on the mutual agreement that we all walk around and try not to pretend there are genitals between our legs. And yet society is sustained by the occasional mutual agreement that we do, in fact.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@DKagemann I think it’s more like a double ouroboros, mutually cannibalizing each other until only the inedible parts are left.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@yvonnekindle @glee_writes If a dog is better behaved than you … I’ve never seen this put in better terms for even the simplest of simpletons. Mind, the difference is that these types of men don’t care about right or wrong, but control.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@chuck137955005 As I am a stack of alien gnomes masquerading as human … 19.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

Therefore I contend you are indoors in a house, a shed, a barn, a qualifying tent or marquee, certain boxes, a shipping container, a cave with a door or big enough rock or leaf enclosing the opening, a very large and properly fastened pair of pants, and, indeed, a car.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@johngreen I’d have to argue that indoors implies being in a contained environment that you enter or leave via a door. Therefore I would argue if you enter a gate and are on a fenced enclosure you are still outdoors. 1/3

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

If you are in a convertible with the top down you are exposed to the elements and could easily escape without using a door and are therefore outdoors. (To digress, I would argue that when the top is down on a convertible, you are no longer IN but ON it) 2/3

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

You’re seen. In all honesty from my heart, if you need to talk, I’m a good listener, or else I promise you know someone who is. And you’re not burdening like you think because they need to talk too, they need to make someone feel better, and you both need to not be alone.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

You. Yes, you.

You’re doing great. I know, you’re struggling and you don’t show it to anyone. You’re worried and scared and aching and you put a brave face on for the world. I see you. I want you to know we’re all hiding that. Pushing our mess under the bed just to function.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

But you’re doing a great job. Better than some? Not as good as others? Don’t compare yourself. You’re doing everything you can. Better than yesterday? Maybe not as good as tomorrow? Maybe worse? But as good as you can do today, and you deserve all the credit for it.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@ranman789 @KaylaChowShow Oh this is good.

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@GoodwynPub @KaylaChowShow Allow me to see you, and raise you The Moist Storybook

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@AdrianE04275411 @KaylaChowShow Moist Bride is the funniest one I’ve seen. 😂

[Caleb Peiffer, Writer for Hire @_CalebPeiffer]

@KaylaChowShow Harry Potter and the Moist Stone.
Fellowship of the Moist.
Dr. Moist.
A Moist Hope.
Moist Man’s Chest.
Don’t Look Moist.
Moist in the Rain.
Moist Kid.
Make Mine Moist.
It’s a Moist Life.
Die Moist.
The Moist Mermaid.
Sleeping Moist.
Moist Alone.
Sisterhood of the Moist Pants.