I’ve been through a lot, seen a lot, felt a lot, loved a lot, hurt a lot, made a lot, and lost a lot and through it all I know God was with me even when I walked in doors I shouldn’t have he stayed with me through it until I got to the doors he opened for me.
When I talk about stripping I never say “I did what I had to do” because no one HAS to do it that’s what I decided to do and I never introduced that lifestyle to another woman even with my pole dancing classes I never encouraged another woman to strip I always pushed education
I wanted to be able to give my kids more like they didn’t ask to be here they didn’t ask for the circumstances I had them in and I just was tired of only being able to do enough to get by
When I started stripping I actually had two jobs one of them was the best job I had ever at the time I made decent money but it still just wasn’t enough
I’m older now I’ve seen and done more my perspective on a lot of things have changed drastically I don’t agree with some of my decisions but I don’t regret anything
I didn’t write much either for the first few months then I just couldn’t I had to let that part of my life go in order to focus and move forward I needed to find myself so I could do what needed to be done for my kids
I visited my kids dad once while he was away that was right before I had our daughter I never took our kids to see him sometimes I regret that but then I felt like I was protecting them I didn’t want them to feel like anything of that nature was ok or normal especially my son
Before I had kids I had goals and dreams I loved learning new things I was an A student I don’t really know when I fell off that path but when I did no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t bounce back
when my kids dad went away I felt so lost so confused like I didn’t know where my life was headed but at least I had someone now I’m out here in this big world alone with two kids no education no direction no nothing