Griffin Noah

White boy of the year candidate

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

Rome wasn’t built in a day because they weren’t Mexican (compliment)

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

Hell only exists for people who tell me to hop on video games and then don’t hop with me

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

List of reasons I don’t give my money to the homeless

1. They will spend it on booze
2. I want to spend it on booze

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

@Fred31322122 In Minecraft

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

The leprechaun in my head tells me to burn things

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

If I was mayor of Chicago I’d put a bunch of roombas on CTA trains and outlaw IPAs at dive bars, we can be a civilized society #votegriff27

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

“You good in bed?”
Yeah I haven’t peed in it in years

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

Stone cold sober telling my friends how much they mean to me for the love of the game

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

3 drinks in at the dive bar, flirting with the bartender to get discount merch (we are both straight men)

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

Bad day to be a mozzarella stick

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

I’m serving today don’t @ me

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

Snapchat be like “Hey! remember when you thought this psychopath was your soulmate???”

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

If I could be any animal I’d be a bull because I would still entertain the public by chasing red flags

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

Finger licking good implies the existence of toe spitting evil

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

@kiarajazlyn I see now that love should not be limited to just us humans

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

I am fully embracing fatherhood (I adopted a kitten)

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

My favorite pass time is crossing the rubicon

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

If you’re not going to the liquor store with me then I’m assuming you’re going to the liquor store against me

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

People who don’t rerack the weights at the gym are the same ones who won’t put their shopping cart back at the grocery store

[Griffin Noah @_GN2K]

We are so back