The Church of Ariana Grande

18+ Parody account. The official Church of Ariana Grande. FINDOM. 20 dollar initial tribute.

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

I would absolutely laugh at your suicide btw

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Don't worry piggies, mommy has made a list of possible resolutions for next year. Choose wisely and remain dedicated for the entire year. Btw, real pigs will choose everything they possibly can.

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Christmas is over, time to hand over your gifts LMAO

As a late Christmas present to you I will allow you to slap your balls hard 100 times just so you can feel my love for you! Am I not the best Goddess ever?

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Your Christmas gift is to live on the same planet as Goddess Grande! Your gift will have to be your dignity, your money, and your entire fucking soul. Send EVERYTHING you have.

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Imagine spending time with your family this Christmas LMAOOO

You don't get to speak to your mother, you probably don't even have a father, and you don't even get to think about your family.

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Plenty of Goddess' songs are Christmas themed. This Christmas you will isolate yourself even more than you already do and stream stream stream all day long

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Worship so long your pass out from exhaustion. Don't drink anything, don't eat anything, don't think anything. Just pure worship for as long as your body holds out! thank me for bullying you btw

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Sunday worship time! Literally kill your fucking cumbrain today to finish the weekend on a positive note. Your sleep really isn't a priority for me lol keep streaming into your monday

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

The holidays for Goddess worshippers: info

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Your new holidays will feel so much better trust me. Your beta brain will be completely useless if you keep going deeper like this, but you love it. Replace you old holidays, they're boring and useless anyway.

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Christmas is coming up, whiteboys. That means punch those balls and open those wallets.

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Good news incels! It's finally friday so you can start your worship weekend! Show me how grateful you are to be able to worship your Goddess every weekend, all weekend!

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

The Church would like to address the allegation that it is 'against whiteboys'. I just want to say that this is absolutely 100% true and we actually want to be more outspoken about it going into the future. Keep stroking your shrimpdick while crying about your doomed future LMAOO

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Sacrifice your brain for the greater good, staying awake despite being incredibly tired weakens the part of you that wants to sin against Goddess Grande. Trust the process.

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Chemically castrate yourself for me lol that'd be so funny

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

"But-but-you can't just drop your subs the minute they stop paying!! Aftercare is impor-" don't gaf lol I hate those losers

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

You incels all have an INTENSE desire to worship what you can't have. Don't go out tonight, save your money. Ask for extra hours. Go outside to beg for pennies in the cold. This is what you were made for.

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

Goddess Ari laughing at your shrimpie btw <3

[The Church of Ariana Grande @_God_Ariana_]

kinda bored right now send me your savings real quick and thank me for taking it