Sick Toddlers & The Sovereignty Of God
Meditations from my son's ICU hospital bedside.
My son Caleb was born with a chronic kidney disease.
In his short (nearly) 3 years of life, he has had 5 surgeries, and a constant barrage of doctor visits, blood draws, shots, and endless daily medications.
A few weeks ago, Caleb got a respiratory virus that, due to his underlying kidney failure, ended up putting him in the hospital for about a week.
As soon as we got to the ER, they quickly whisked him away to the ICU where they informed us that his oxygen levels had dropped severely & were dangerously low.
They very quickly got him all hooked up to all the necessary support, which included a high-flow nasal cannula (I’m pretty sure that’s what it was), which essentially blows A LOT of oxygen into your nose.
Unfortunately, when you are using this device to help get your body oxygen, you are not allowed to eat or drink anything because it can cause you to aspirate.
After about 18 hours of no food or water (he was getting his fluids via IV), little Cal began to beg me for water. His little lips were chapped, his mouth was dry & at around 3:30 AM he started crying out “Dada please! Just a little water,” as he held up his thumb and pointer finger. “Please Dada… Just a little bit.”
My heart was breaking.
I asked the nurse if there was anything I could give him, and she gave me a little sponge lollipop that I could dip in some water and give him 2 or 3 dips worth, just to wet his mouth. More than that would be too risky.
And so I dipped the little sponge lollipop in the water and gave it to my son. He sucked the water down greedily, relief spreading all over his face.
After I gave him the third dip I had to take it away, at which point he immediately bagan to beg. “Please Dada! One more!? Please Dada, just one more?!”
I don’t know that my heart had ever felt so completely broken.
All I wanted was to give him all the water his little heart desired! But I wasn’t permitted to do so in his present condition. Because of the oxygen machine, food and water were actually dangerous for my boy at the moment.
All I could do was hold him, and tell him it was going to be okay… “Dada is here with you, and we’ll get you a drink very soon.”
He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand. His little 3 years old mind couldn’t comprehend what was happening to him and why. All he knew was that he was SO thirsty and Dada wouldn’t give him a drink.
I will never forget hearing his little voice begging me for water.
As I sat and held my son as he was crying out in frustration, sadness, and even a sense of betrayal (after all, I did have to take the lollipop sponge away), I too was crying out to my Father in heaven.
“WHY GOD?! Why does this have to happen to my son? Why did you give him 2 bad kidneys? Why don’t you heal him?”
And all at once it hit me…
My son is begging me for water.
I am begging my heavenly Father for healing for my son.
Water is objectively good.
Healing is objectively good.
My son cannot comprehend why I won’t just give him some water. Water is good for him.
I cannot comprehend why God would allow my son to be born with this chronic disease. I can’t comprehend why he wouldn't just use his power to heal my son.
But I CAN comprehend why my son cannot have the water he desires right now. And it is precisely BECAUSE I love him and want to protect him that I have to take away the little lollipop sponge.
And how much more does my heavenly Father love me? How much more does my heavenly Father love my son?
My little mind cannot comprehend why God would bring about this difficulty, pain, and suffering in my family’s life. My little mind cannot comprehend why he won’t just use his divine power to heal my son right now.
But I DO know that he loves us. I DO know that he has promised to work ALL THINGS together for His own glory and for the good of his people (Romans 8:28).
Therefore I can also know, that as I cry out to my Father from my son's hospital bedside, that he hears me. He loves me. And if he’s saying “no” right now, he has a VERY good reason to do so.
Not only so, but my heavenly Father relates to me in my grief.
For my heavenly Father is well acquainted with grief and suffering.
He too watched His son suffer (for my sake)…
Anyone else who watched his Son suffer on the cross must have believed that Christ’s position was hopeless. It looked as though His Father had abandoned him, and all was lost.
And yet, this was very near the climax of God’s sovereign plan to bring ultimate good out of what seemed like hopeless chaos.
In Christ, God proved that he was ultimately sovereign over suffering and He is ultimately loving.
I do not understand why God allows such pain and suffering or why he won’t take it away when we ask… But I do know that he is sovereign over it, and he loves us.
I simply have to trust him.
Just as my son simply needed to trust his Dada.
If anyone wants to help support our family through Caleb’s medical journey, you can buy a T-shirt, or give to our gofundme.
I would also ask for your prayers.
His transplant is scheduled for early May.
Please continue to pray for healing and please pray for 0 complications.
@Meta I have tried three times to apply for my page name to be changed and heard nothing each time. It’s been over a week! No notifications. The new name is not strange or not allowed. Please help!
@stickermule@rickyberwick So you fired a guy for supporting someone politically, and then replaced him with a foul-mouthed 12-year-old? This advertising is somehow better? I’m done with y’all. This is trash.
If you think the Olympic ceremony is disgusting, stop reposting what you think is disgusting. You’re just spreading the trash you hate and filling the mind with what they want you to see.
Christ said He did not come to abolish but to fulfill the Law. Matt 5 then says those who ignore the smallest parts of the Law & teach others to do the same will be least in the Kingdom. Why do we ignore the Law? Sounds like an unwise thing to do.
(2/2) We don’t get to make up what loving God and loving others looks like. God tells us specifically how to do that in His word. We should be considering His Commandments, Laws and statutes- not for justification, righteousness and salvation but for worship and obedience.
(1/2)The first 4 Commandments tell us how to love the LORD with all our heart, mind, strength & soul. The next 6 Commandments show us how to love our neighbors as ourselves. Why do most modern Christians think we can ignore some of the Commandments and not be in sin?
I stayed away from “X” for a while & after 2 days being back I’m still disgusted by the Christians on here fighting back and forth about every (mostly small) issue that frankly, most of which are none of y’all’s business anyway. We’re supposed to be different. Satan is winning.
(2/2)Yes, it has its complicated parts but know that it also has everything: instruction, encouragement, battle strategy, romance, practical advice, counseling, the future foretold, empathy, poetry, warning, hope & a very important invitation. So why wouldn’t we read it more?
(1/2) For those that say the Bible is too complicated to read: 1 Corinthians 16:13: “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
That’s pretty straightforward…
…”Fall on us, and hide us from the presence of Him who sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb, for the great day of Their wrath has come in, who is able to stand?”
Happy Monday.
He has come and is coming again ⚔️🙌
This is all I can think of when they say the “Elite” billionaires are building bunkers:
Isaiah 2 - “Men will go into caves of the rocks and into holes of the ground before the terror of the LORD and the splendor of His majesty.” ..and also in Revelation 6:15-17…
…“Then the kings of the earth and the great men and the commanders and the rich and the strong, and every slave and free man, hid themselves in the caves and among the rocks of the mountains; and they said to the mountains in to the rocks…