Harrison Scott

I'm a baby. If you need me, I can generally be found in the arms of one of my sleep deprived parents.

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

You guys, I just had the worst nightmare! I dreamt a boob was eating me!

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

Quick show of hands: Anyone else shower with a wet wipe?

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

Q: What objects can be used to cut through a car windshield?

A: Diamonds and my fingernails.

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

So far today I have thrown up on my mom, my dad and myself. If we had a pet, I'm sure I could hit for the cycle.

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

I enjoy drinking milk while shitting myself, and imagine I will continue to do so far into adulthood.

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

I was once called the "Lebron James of babies" as I am also bald.

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

Although my father is raising a child while also juggling a career, so I guess he is an inspiration.

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

I've been told by enough people that I believe I'm handsome. Logically, I'm having doubts about Paternity.

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

I'm not even kidding -- my poop smells like a dead hobo.

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

@JasmineJamsMeow Nice to meet you furry creature. I'm Harry, although my parent call me "Please stop crying and go to sleep."

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

@JasmineJamsMeow Only all the time! Isn't it the greatest!

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

@JasmineJamsMeow I don't really have the motor skills for that yet, but will keep in mind!

[Harrison Scott @_HarrisonScott]

Since I have some spare time when I'm bored and can't sleep (generally between 1 - 7 am) I decided to join social media.