Ian Macpherson

Writer. Reformed standup.

Latest Novel: IN THE MADNESS OF TIME (Published June 2024)

BUY HERE:

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

I made the painful decision to burn every copy of my latest novel - In the Madness of Time - on Arthur's Seat at 3.33am. #WrongThink

Here's what happened next:

https://t.co/lN4rjQUBgQ

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

SEVENTH WAVE: Feminism - The Way Forward?

As featured in neglected classic In the Madness of Time.

https://t.co/h5eiLVdfXe

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

The perfect actor to play Robin/Robyn in the film version of my latest novel, In The Madness of Time.

Cometh the hour, cometh the... person.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

I can see how the casual browser might glance at the title of my recent Substack, A Very Nice Man, clock the attached image and head straight for the drinks cabinet.

Relax. I urge you to read the piece first. It may not be as bad as you think.

https://t.co/xE4QZUkWFS

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

HOW I MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE # 432

My own particular favourite, although numbers twelve, seventy two and one fly into my head, unbidden, with increasing regularity.

https://t.co/BwRMhweM0B

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

The list of odious, misogynistic, depraved men grows exponentially by the day. But it's not all bad news.

Here, for example is legendary performer Gayle Tuesday on, well, me: 'In spite of my best efforts, Ian was always the perfect gentleman.'

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

My latest Substack: Fillum

For those unaware of the existence of the Irish crooners referenced: If Val Doonican was three people he'd be the Bachelors.

https://t.co/YNJqcVmUAM

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

Delighted to say I was right. Well, almost. Gentlemen's urinals, yes. But not Ward's Irish House.

Brace yourselves.

Ready?

Hampstead Ladies' Pond.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

Cruel business, comedy. By this time next year he'll be cleaning the gentlemen's urinals at Ward's Irish House in Piccadilly. And glad of the work.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

For Burns Day. My favourite Burns poem.

And he didn't write it.

I did.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

I take issue with this, Ursula. Unless, of course, I'm that honourable exception. See my pinned tweet, read the Substack, buy the book.

Spread the word hither and thither, lo and yon.

Many thanks in advance.

[Ursula Doyle @suladoyle]

The satirists, with one honourable exception, are too cowardly to say a word 🙉 🙈🙊 Imagine being scared that David Tennant and Dawn French might be cross with you!

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

@MargueriteZilla @IsobelGlenelg Jeeves introduced a vegetarian option to attract a better class of customer. To replace the eels? Broiled bootlaces. Sadly, it didn't catch on. The main beneficiary in the short term was the local dentist.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

Apocalypse Ho, Jeeves!

PG Wodehouse: A Class Warrior Silenced

https://t.co/EEbQH4wmbr

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

@IsobelGlenelg In order to give myself permission to write the piece, I self-identified as an eel masticator. I suggest you do the same.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

Delighted to announce that The Everlasting Book Tour launches at Wigtown Book Festival on October 2 before touring - you're probably ahead of me here - everlastingly.

https://t.co/Z1UPNq7xCK

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

"And all our best women are silenced."

- Me

[Poetic Outlaws @OutlawsPoetic]

“All our best men are laughed at
in this nightmare land.”

— Jack Kerouac

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

According to @MrEwanMorrison

'The post internet era has begun. The net has been taken over by bots. Time to get ready to walk away from the net and to communicate and make culture more directly.'

Perfect timing for The Suppression Cabinet.

https://t.co/9pqF0WuHee

[Magi Gibson @MagiGibson]

Ian Macpherson, Ali Whitelock and myself are doing a poetry/comedy/literature thing. Sun 21st Sep. 2pm in Glasgow.

Click through to find out all the exciting details and for tickets!
https://t.co/aBI4vK5m8z

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

Nobody has gainsaid me on this, so I take it we're all in agreement.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

The Edinburgh International Code of Conduct Festival has been accused of receiving 'a huge start-up grant' from the so-called Scottish Creative Industries.

Accused? Surely this is a cause for celebration. Artistic conformity - that's where the big money is.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

I see @johnboyne is shortlisted for a major French literary award. I too. I too.

Bonne chance, Jean*. As I appear to be up against Iúdit Ní Buitléar, however, my chances of winning are probably slim to slimmer.

*Misgendering? Heaven forfend. It's French. For John.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

I see @johnboyne is shortlisted for a major French literary award. I too. I too.

Bonne chance, Jean*. As I appear to be up against Iúdit Ní Buitléar, however, my chances of winning are probably slim to slimmer.

*Misgendering? Heaven forfend. It's French. For John.

[Ian Macpherson @_IanMacpherson]

As I embark on book four of The Comedy Tetralogy, I'm delighted to announce that book two has been shortlisted for a highly regarded French honour. Details below.

Je suis, naturellement, très, très humblé. Not to mention over le moon.