Jethro M. Salazar

Amateur turtle whisperer. Avid obscure sports enthusiast. Giver of room-temperature takes.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@cctvidiots This is simply a reference to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. That’s it. Now if I could stop seeing this picture everywhere that would be great. Thanks.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

When they’re ugly

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@barstoolsports @MarkTitusShow Take the 8 worst teams and have their GM’s play a 1 on 1 tournament for draft order

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@BarstoolTrent We also need to recognize that pancakes/waffles/french toast are breakfast desserts. And treat them as such.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@ItsaMeJakeP Florida Marlins > Miami Marlins

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@FeitsBarstool How about Lil Wayne only being 4 years older than Drake? It felt like he was around forever and already a legend when he signed Drake. He was 26.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@KFCradio @KFCBarstool One week from the 10 year anniversary of this tweet

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@KFCradio @KFCBarstool It usually finds its way into my foreskin

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@Jared_Carrabis This picture of me meeting Mo Vaughn when I was like 6. #hitdog

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@KFCBarstool I don’t have a strong opinion either way about the WBC. I think it’s a cool tournament but also don’t really care about it. But the fact is Diaz got hurt while basically just standing there. Not by pitching. Blaming the WBC is misplaced anger.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@grace__omalley @danabeers @PirateWaterBev Has the phrase “get shipwrecked” been used yet? If not, there you go. That one’s free.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@ItsaMeJakeP @OnlyInBOS Wrong. It’s so good! So good! So good!

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@JP_Padgett @barstoolsports Right. This would be a huge upgrade after living in a regular dorm with two other people and the bathroom is a communal bathroom shared by the whole floor. Plus give everyone their own bathroom and you can probably charge a bit more.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@fasc1nate Damn what kind of insect is the one that looks just like a human hand?

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@jamesbarrytweet @nut_history @RodCarew_29 I don’t know man. I mean I checked Wikipedia, baseball reference, baseball almanac, the MLB website, the baseball hall of fame website, and the Rod Carew website and they all have his birthday as October 1, 1945 which would make him 77 years old. I’m always up for debate though.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@CaddieNetwork I will say “I should probably putt this” and then grab my 54 degree and fly it to the hole and watch it slowly roll far, far away from me while I turn to my playing partner and say “almost dunked it”

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@kakeMix315 @ryenarussillo Always gotta protect the floribundas

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

@ItsaMeJakeP It was a great reminder of just how many bangers she’s had. Now it’s time we put some respect on her name by literally just saying her name correctly. It’s not even a hard name to say. We just refuse to say it correctly. I vow to be the change I wish to see in the world.

[Jethro M. Salazar @_JSAL]

Rihanna is one of the biggest superstars in the world. Has been an A-list celebrity for like 15 years. Performing on the world’s biggest stage. And we all just keep pronouncing her name wrong.