Jared Chandler

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

Bro how does Home Depot keep their plants alive better than me

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

Can’t sleep cause bbl drizzy

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

I cut my tongue on a tootsie pop today. I am 26 years old

[John Mulaney @mulaney]

New Comeback Gorgeous Baby

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

New Mulaney special don’t call don’t text

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

@DevinFisch1 @betterhelp See I can’t tell if it’s really you or if AI has turned you into an add this is fucked 😂

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

We’re in so much trouble you guys stay off the apps, hug people and tell them you love them, eat stuff you like and take care of your neighbors ie everyone on earth we’re all we got

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

Today was one of those “big growth days” you hear everyone talking about

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

We should all be uniting to fight against the real enemy: lizards and snakes

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

Omg this is the longest I’ve been on twitter in so long and I can feel my soul atrophy.

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

You can disagree with something and still provide basic human rights and access to healthcare like love thy neighbor when did that go out of style.
#fearvslovealways

[Erin Reed @erininthemorning.com on Bsky @ErinInTheMorn]

One of the most surreal videos of the entire resistance to anti-trans laws this year.

Members of the gallery get arrested while shouting "trans lives matter" as Rep. Stevenson delivers a scathing rebuke on the House Floor.

"Somebody will have to atone!"

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

Am I reading this wrong or do people like not go out anymore unless it’s like a huge concert? Like seems like less and less people just casually go to a coffee shop or a book store or a comedy show I mean… where is everyone?

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

@kenradio “Okay geeze just wanted to tell you to pick up your damn cart but my bad I’m the bad guy here”

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

I thought Storks delivered human babies to your doorstep

[Terrifying Nature @JustTerrifying]

Mother stork throws out immature baby to increase survival chances of other babies.

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

Riiiiight right right right this explains so much

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

If you don’t like reality, just ignore it

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

You know that commercial where the Dad climbs out the back seat with his self-driving car? This was the complete opposite of that

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

What did you do last night?
Oh you know just shouted into the void for an hour then crashed on the couch

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

The news is just a doomsday reel but social media is a highlight reel and somehow both are bad??

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

Express VPN should be free

[Jared Chandler @_JaredChandler]

If I had the day off I wouldn’t say anything but I think #PresidentsDay is a silly holiday and you should work unless you’ve been saving for a mattress