Jason Redden

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

Putting your number on a gambling addiction hotline poster and telling quitters never win and then giving them the lock of the night. #CBTM

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

When I’m bored I like to put “Not For Sale” signs on other peoples things but put my number as the contact info. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

@logan_ripley This time of year not many of them head northeast due to the approaching cold temperatures. You can ask @kpk_1 as he is probably fleeing to warmer weather soon.

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

If there’s a doctor around when I’m playing golf does that qualify as appropriate sick time use?

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

You dressing up to go to the Barbie movie is the same as the people dressing up for StarWars movies. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

@kpk_1 Finally we are on the same page!

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

So hear me out, instead of live laugh love we start throwing some Nickleback lyrics above the mantle… what’s more cozy then “cause we all just wanna be big rockstars” above the fireplace

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

Did the Foo Fighters ever finish off the Foo? Or is there still rebellious Foo out there causing mayhem?

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

It’s going to be a Jimmy Buffett summer this year

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

@MarleighG hey girl welcome to twitter

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

Hey @benandjerrys when are you coming out with a pint koozie?? My hand is freezing

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

I’m starting to think the Grinch isn’t based on a true story…

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

Fries while driving is a superior food

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

Picture for reference

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

According to my mother just because I eat cereal out of a measuring cup it’s not considered portion control

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

Turkeys are just straight peacocks

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

Does this mean I can stop throwing tea in the harbor?

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

If global warming is real how is pumpkin spice already in season

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

Whoever has my voodoo doll, I’m sorry for whatever I did to you but can you please move it away from the ranch dressing!! Twice this week I asked for blue cheese and was giving ranch so please punish me in any other way I’m begging you

[Jason Redden @_JasonRedden]

I was at the airport the other day hoping to take my bird statue on a trip with me. When I got to TSA they told me I couldn’t take it on the plane. When I asked why the TSA agent said “that bird can’t fly it’s too heavy”. I laughed at him and said “you idiot all birds can fly”.