jess

[jess @_JessMartini]

@NASHFM947NY #nashfmupgrademe! #pleaseeee #nashfm

[jess @_JessMartini]

I'm obsessed with my niece. She is just the greatest thing ever!

[jess @_JessMartini]

My mom has the windows open with the AC blasting. She confuses me.

[jess @_JessMartini]

Is shity-est shitiest or shityest?! Don't worry ... I wonder too

[jess @_JessMartini]

When you look your shitiest but feel your best. wait what

[jess @_JessMartini]

My grandmas texts are the best. Half of them don't make sense but I love them.

[jess @_JessMartini]

Actually... I shouldn't say always... But mostly always*

[jess @_JessMartini]

The problem with always being in a good mood is that the one day you're not everyone thinks it's the end of the world.

[jess @_JessMartini]

@just_DiLello finally! I'm excited 😁💕

[jess @_JessMartini]

Everyone keeps telling me how good I look and what a difference but no one told me that I was becoming the size of a damn humpback whale! 🙄

[jess @_JessMartini]

I go in the shower the same time EVERY single day... Why why why does someone feel the need to go in knowing I'm supposed to be in?!

[jess @_JessMartini]

OITNB and Finding Dory both in the same day?! My god I'm happier than a kid in a candy store!

[jess @_JessMartini]

Today is technically my Monday... So that explains why my day is so shitty.

[jess @_JessMartini]

Praying I'm not busy at work tomorrow so I can binge OITNB 😬

[Country Words @Country_Words]

You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t so you might as well do what you want. -Kacey Musgraves

[jess @_JessMartini]

Why is it so hard for Dunkin to find workers with a damn brain?!

[jess @_JessMartini]

I always thought huskies were cute until they attacked my little buddy 😔 but he's a champ.

[jess @_JessMartini]

Nothing in this world is uglier than my face during a pedicure.

[jess @_JessMartini]

I smile at dogs more than I smile at humans

[jess @_JessMartini]

Even tho it's 7 months away I just can't hide my excitement for @crashmyplaya! I'm coming for ya @LukeBryanOnline! 😁👏🏼🏝