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Welcome to The Klub™️ • indie and ready to riot • 🏳️‍🌈 • a menace • finally a lawyer; Chicago-Kent ‘22 • he/him

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

The only time I feel out of place in a big city is when I try to explain to city people the ultimate catharsis that comes from crank-the-music-night-drives in the summer when you have something you need to but can’t say

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

I thought getting an apartment with a second bedroom would mean I’d have a guest room / home office. Timothy decided it means he gets his own room.

He even chuffs and storms off to flop on the bed when he’s annoyed with me.

When did he become a moody teenager.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

@L0veFromAaron Cool catching a plane now be there soon 🦘✈️

Gotta even out these tan lines bc 😵‍💫

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

I can’t think of an ACL pun so just pretend I did and do a nose exhale

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

I miss that time in my life that I could shake ass with friends to songs from musicals. Can I get that back? I need that back.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

Happy Sunday, time for church https://t.co/LuBqd0xmcY

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

I think law schools and Bar examiners forget that most law practice is *not* theoretical. But that’s how law school and the exam treat it.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

I’m a family law lawyer. I exclusively represent domestic violence survivors. I work with clients on the most serious, impactful, and intimate parts of their lives as they’re dragged through court.

The Bar/law school gave me absolutely zero prep for any of this.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

I have this running joke with one of my friends that the Wordle is like a daily fortune cookie or horoscope or something like that. Like the day after I tore my ACL the word was AGILE

Which is fun & everything until you get words like today’s, which has me side eyeing everyone

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

My favorite part of “Bottle Shots And Listen To Music” nights are when I think I found a great new song, perfect for a playlist I’m curating, just to discover that it’s already on there and I had no idea.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

One of my biggest worries has come true.

I have an MRI tomorrow morning. I have 13 piercings. I’ve never taken 4 of them out before, and 2 more of them I’m not even entirely sure how to.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

Gay sports update: mightve torn my ACL

Does this mean I’m old now

I’m not ready

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

@WhatNedDid Screw top Cabernet, bueno bars, and cookie dough ice cream. 👑✨

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

Bottle of wine, chocolate bar, pint of ice cream, $7.38. Aldi STAYS winning.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

@WhatNedDid That, and I don’t have to sneak through the liquor aisle of the grocery store a la James Bond

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

@WhatNedDid The only difference is now I buy them with big boy dollars instead of tiger dollars

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

@WhatNedDid @olivetnazarene You were absolutely one of the reasons I became anything at that place.

The way they treated/treat you and others who choose goodness and humility over subservience to unquestioningly entrenched “doctrine” and its ideologue is sad and damn near fascistic.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

Yet again, I’m ashamed to admit that I attended @olivetnazarene. Not only because of the (usual) homophobia, but because this time the university president has determined the biology department I graduated from is insidious because it won’t subscribe to his homophobia.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

@olivetnazarene should be ashamed, because I know I am.

Anti-science, regressive, small-minded, homophobic leadership… pitiful.

Thank God I found refuge amongst the scientists there, and I hope beyond hope they can weather this tiny man.

[🄺🄻🅄🄱 @_KalebMatthew_]

And yet @olivetnazarene has the audacity to ask me for alumni donations. I spent my last three years there doing everything I could to support LGBT students’ rights, interests, safety, and peace.

In what world -