☆Syd☆

this is not a safe space

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

Help!!! They put me in one of the Obama border cages for being so young and beautiful!

[Historic Vids @historyinmemes]

Mike Tyson had a 20 inch (50.8 cm) neck at the age of 18.

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was one big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snot box. He declined." - Mike Tyson

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

It’s a beaver moon so if ur me, u know it’s gonna b pink

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

I have a parasocial relationship with Jared Fogle

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

Starting my next clinical rotation tmrw

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

Bringing back squirting in a big way

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

Super Nintendo Entertainment System

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

I’m Zoroastrian cus I believe in the profound dichotomy of Good vs Evil, aka me vs My Dad

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

Do tow truck drivers put the no parking signs up right after someone parks? Like how Wile e Coyote puts the hole on the wall then takes it off after he goes through? Do they just fuck people like that?

[Tao Lin @tao_lin]

A special agent came to my house today while I was getting ready to sunbathe naked right after waking up. I warned him I was naked. From a distance, he said he was here about an "article" I wrote on "social media."

I put on shorts, came back outside, and he said, "As part of your social media you had listed that you had used leeches?”

Apparently, I'm not allowed to order leeches to Hawaii without a permit. I told him honestly that I had only one leech left.

He confiscated my leech.

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Moo Deng predicts Donald Trump will win US Election.

The famous baby hippo was presented with separate cakes featuring both candidates names, ultimately choosing to eat the Trump cake.

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

Fill your guts with grease and get looser!

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

@nycguidovoice About 1.6 times however much it costs per yoda ear/capita and then tack on labor

[Nick Mullen @nycguidovoice]

Here’s a question for the science community. How much work would it take to give every Chinese person yoda ears

[☆Syd☆ @_NoLooseEnds]

Don’t wake me. I’m only sleeping ma!