Onyez

I'm not perfect, but i'm original☯

[Measurer @measurerice]

@Ggod323 Bro didn't fuck around but is finding out 💔

[Onyez @_Onyez]

@measurerice @Ggod323 Lmao

[Ed @bakaryshaedy]

@256Rootyherman Actually it's at this moment that you divert from the truth and start making up things that were not originally part of your story.

[Physics Geek @physicsgeek]

Wife: I wish my boobs were bigger.

Husband: Here's a hack that you should try that will definitely work.

Wife: Really?

Husband: Yes. Take a handful of toilet paper and wad it up.

Wife: Okay...

Husband: Great. Now rub it between your breasts.

Wife after about 20 seconds: What is this supposed to do? Nothing is happening.

Husband: You just have to keep rubbing it every day for several years and your breasts will definitely grow.

Wife: You want me to rub this between my tits for years to make them bigger?

Husband: It worked for your ass, didn't it?

===============================
Note: Funeral services for the husband will be held this weekend.

[Onyez @_Onyez]

@biggstepper004 @NighurSeraph @Olmilekan_ @Donjaytrix001 Lmao I just tear laugh
Man dey suffer

[Waraq Khafi @WaraqKhafi]

@LibraLord88 Pull all of them out of the Frontline and they'd start using you and your family for target practice. Ungrateful bastards

[Ferdy @Burmese_Tyga_]

I haven't argued with an APC supporter for over a year tho. I genuinely look at them as inferior subspecies of humans. Your house pet is mentally above these creatures. 🤷‍♂️

[Blessed😈🇦🇷 @Blessedonx1]

No die ooh, you go full status o!!! Dem go come dm you say "Tell me it's not true, say something" Dem go come screenshot am post

[kelvin @kelvinholdon]

I don count wetin concern me for this life, e no even reach 5 and I even count Global warming.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Rich kids get capital. Middle class kids get “figure it out.” Poor kids get trauma and told it builds character. The starting line is not equal.

[Bestmann @Big_Bestmann]

Shadrach, Meshach and God abeg nyem ego.

[Ayômîde 🧢 @Haryormdey4u]

I wonder how fed up someone had to be to make deodorant

[ajay @1meajay]

if common to guide hard like this, how to successful go come dey?

[Onyez @_Onyez]

@kellz_kz @kumoriRaver @Sommy_Dav 😂

[Kk🏝 @kushgramm]

The masculine urge to automatically assume a woman is lying the second she opens her mouth

[eyedrJane @janeezeji17]

The economy is not what government officials say it is.

The economy is what ordinary people experience every day.

[Onyez @_Onyez]

@cynugwudike Beautiful

[Onyez @_Onyez]

@jvden6 @QWESILANISTA @Kojo_Badu1 😹

[Onyez @_Onyez]

@JoshuaImoikor @instablog9ja Bro they're everywhere, they only manifest in different ways.

[P.haraoh 👑 @Ugochukwu96_]

The Profile of Nigerian Politician:

Kids — UK, USA, Canada
Pilgrimage — Saudi
Shopping — Paris, Milan
Houses — Abuja, Lagos, Dubai, London
Bank — Switzerland
Hospital — London, India
Holidays — UAE or USA
Fornication —Maldives, Mykonos
Checkups — “Routine” trips abroad
Constituency — Seen only during elections or primaries
Promises — “We are working on it”
Scandals — “Politically motivated"

Light — 24/7 generator (NEPA is for vibes)
Security — More guards than a bank vault
Side hustle — Government contracts
Cars — Bulletproof convoy, sirens screaming

Country — Managed remotely.

They d!e abroad and are brought back home for burial, Nigeria —Their cemetery

But when it’s time to campaign:
“My people… I feel your pain.” 🙂

If you like use your head this coming election or they use it for you as usual 🫵.