Green Patrick

better nate than lever

[sam @shamwowley]

you’ve heard of Luigi the Healthcare Shooter, now get ready for the Bushwick Bottler (me throwing a high life at Andrew Cuomo when I see him walking the PR parade)

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

You know how a baby cant understand an adult? Could a puppy understand a adult dog? idk

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

nuts

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

can you eat nut in a movie theater

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

The dings continue with alarming consistency. At some point I’ll need to dispose of the many pizza boxes without being seen. My only hope is the cover of darkness.

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

Fact 1: Sam is out of town
Fact 2: Our air fryer is very small
Fact 3: The ding on our air fryer is very loud

These three facts combined yield me self-consciously airfrying single slices of pizza over and over knowing the neighbors can hear the ding each time and are judging me.

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

why they walk like they got a shid in their robo butt

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

A compilation of Tesla Optimus from last night's event: how he walks, talks and use his hands.

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

Just checked mine out. All good, nothing of too much concern. Can’t say the same about yours though.

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

You never once looked inside the oven mitt. It could be fucked up in there for all you know.

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

Just ate an amount of chinese food that would scare god. I’d show you but i ate it.

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

@KamalaHarris a face sunscreen that tastes good? not for me, but the people have been talking

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

if you keep losing more and more weight will your body start burning pp meat?

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

@NigelNovel @RyanJC2009 @DelusionPosting Nigel this doesn’t make any god damn sense

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

birds with hair, dog feathers, turtle (reversed), all of this can be yours. unlimited potential. sprinting .

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

went to the doctor and he didnt even try to see my teener ? am i ugly ,?

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

My original plan was to get absolutely bronzed this summer, but i hadn’t even considered the other much better option. Im gonna get so ghastly pale. I want the world’s top scientists to be perplexed by the way light reacts with my freak skin. I wan’t to scare kids.

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

dont tell sam but i simply do not know what “hot to go” means

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

Sam ran a half marathon today which is like a whole thing and whatever but i held her bag the WHOLE time and she had hella shit in it so why didn’t i get a medal ??

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

what if my dog look at the sun will he be blind

[Green Patrick @_PGreen_]

how do i make my siri have Lisa Vanderpumps voice