Someone said, “No one notices your sadness until it turns into anger, and then you're the problem. Healing is realising you became the angry person because no one saw your sadness first,” and I really felt that.
Sorry, but a partner who ruins your mental health cannot be the love of your life. Ever. I know you love them. I know you've built a future in your mind with them. I know you keep hoping they’ll change, that things will get better, that the good moments will eventually outweigh the bad.
But here's the truth you need to hear: real love doesn't destroy you. Real love doesn't leave you anxious, depressed, constantly questioning yourself, walking on eggshells, or losing pieces of who you are. That's not love, that's trauma bonding.
I stopped telling people when my mental health starts slipping again. Once I heard someone say how exhausting it is to love someone with depression and anxiety, it stayed with me. I never want to feel like I’m draining the people I care about while I’m barely keeping myself afloat. So I go quiet. I carry it alone. Not because I want to, but because being seen as a burden hurts more than the silence.
cutting people off feels different now. it’s not anger, it’s grief. like dang… I really wanted you here, but your actions showed me I’m not safe with you.
I have so much going on in my personal life I don't mention. I just pray, wake up, smile, and do what I got to do... like shit normal. One thing about life that shit just don't stop. Got to take shit to the chin every time!