Ryan Gleeson

Mr Fucking Blackpool…,Tweed clad, tangerine faced spouter of mirth. Dad of five. Some broken parts

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@RapidoWolfio As long as David Attenborough & Mr T are still alive, there’s still hope

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

I wasn’t worried about Ukraine, Iran, etc., etc., but I’m pretty sure this one thing is exactly how the world’s end begins

#ChuckNorris

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@DefiantLs Probably should spend some time with a teacher yourself there, @DefiantLs

Have a quick look where the Gardai have jurisdiction & then read up why they’re at this house to arrest a man for refusing to stay away from a school

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

That’s me out of Gammogeddon for 2025

I was doing so well to avoid shitposts about business “refusing to use the word Christmas”

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@FisherVoice @rickygervais Since I watched a lot of Friends, I’ll translate.

When a person who wasn’t asked, offers advice & has to tell you why they know what they’re talking about… they usually don’t know enough to know that there’s lots they don’t know.

Dunning-Kruger 1999

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

Now everyone’s gonna know where I live…

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

That’s son No. 2 joining his big brother with a First class degree
This one’s in Forensic Science, so go on…try and prove I did shit now!

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

Yeah, shit at plastering though

https://t.co/b2JDzhh3yS

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

Guess the @DeadMenTalkPod boys are filming a new special

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@SurLiott9 @AndrewVis82 @DillyHussain88 English is a nationality as well as ethnicity. Unfortunately for you, @SurLiott9 ethnicity is both individually subjective and in the main, self defined.

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@SurLiott9 @AndrewVis82 @DillyHussain88 Ah yes, anyone who emigrates must fully adopt the language, culture and societally accepted fashion of the natives.
Just like all those British ex-pats in Benidorm

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

Final level boss of entitlement on tonight’s front row:
Couldn’t handle the sniff she sent her bloke to buy at the start of the gig, chatted through every act, got kicked out & then yelled at all the staff for 30 minutes, screaming she’ll call the police unless she got a refund

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@JamieHComedy Shows what he knows! That smell was coming from your cock
Admittedly it’s likely my breath he can smell on your cock, but still…

So called “dental hygienist”

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

In these divisive times, people forget we’re all entitled to a differing opinion, even if it upsets them
That said; if you don’t think @cleveleysnews is the best Wyre-based news account, you’re a dirty pirate shitmonkey & need hitting in the face with a fact-filled trouser press

[Cleveleys News @cleveleysnews]

Blackpool Council is holding a meeting for all the residents around Cookson Street who have objected to their houses being knocked down to make way for the Multiversity campus. They absolutely promise not to knock down their houses while they are all out at the meeting.

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

Sitting here with my disappointing child, showing her why her brother’s my favourite

#LeedsBeckettGrads

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

Anyone wanna join me in the election drinking game?
Every time a candidate answer starts with “Well, look…” down a shot

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

Been invited to a careers event, to talk to pupils about being a comedian…

In a primary school

Join me in our next episode of “What on Earth were you thinking?” where I’ll be chucking a bucket full of water onto a chip pan fire and running with scissors

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@thatusagyuuun @MartinSLewis Depending on how long ago you went, it sounds like either you found the large area of properties under compulsory purchase orders to make way for the £300m regeneration project in Blackpool Central, or that the venue owners just had a pretty good judge of character

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@LeeAndersonMP_ Why would you canvass in a back alley usually only accessed via locked gates?
You took one person’s view on the town as fact; I thought only sheeple didn’t doo they’re own reeserch
Come on, prove me wrong about Blackpool. We’ll do a full, proper tour and I’ll even buy you a pint!

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@LeeAndersonMP_ I’m Blackpool born & bred
By your logic, my opinion supersedes someone’s who migrated from another town 30yrs ago, forcing a Sandgrown’un from their home
So let me show you all of Blackpool, not just one vaguely located, conveniently littered alley
PS: Your “facts” differ to ONS

[Ryan Gleeson @_RyanGleeson]

@LeeAndersonMP_ I’m Blackpool born & bred
By your logic, my opinion supersedes someone’s who migrated from another town 30yrs ago, forcing a Sandgrown’un from their home
So let me show you all of Blackpool, not just one vaguely located, conveniently littered alley
PS: Your “facts” differ to ONS