Sannie @_Sanessie - Twitter Profile

5 months ago

I have a friend named Segun. For three years, Segun was the "ghost" of our group. Every time we planned a hangout; a birthday dinner, a football match, or just drinks on a Friday night, Segun would be the first to say "I'll try to come" in the group chat. But he never did. He’d stop replying to messages by 6:00 PM and wouldn’t surface until the next morning with a "Sorry guys, I fell asleep" or "Something came up." Eventually, we stopped inviting him. We started calling him "unreliable." We even had a separate group chat without him because we felt he didn't value our friendship anymore. "Success has entered his head," one of us said. "He’s too big for us now." Last year, my life hit a brick wall. I lost my job in the same month my mom needed surgery. I was drowning. I called the active friends; the ones I went clubbing with every weekend. They were sympathetic, sure. "Oh, so sorry bro," "God will provide," "I’m a bit tight this month, but let me see what I can do." Then they stopped picking up my calls. I guess I became too heavy for the fun group. One Tuesday night, around 11:00 PM, my doorbell rang. I opened it, and there was Segun. He wasn't wearing a designer shirt or looking big. He looked tired. He was holding a nylon bag with some groceries and a small envelope. "I heard what happened," he said, walking in. I was defensive. "Oh, now you show up? You haven't picked my calls in months, Segun. You missed my housewarming, you missed my birthday..." He sat down on my sofa and sighed. "I know. And I’m sorry. But I wasn't at those parties because I’ve been working three shifts. My younger brother is in the university, my sister is doing her nursing program, and my dad’s pension hasn't been paid in two years. I am the only one, man." I went quiet. "I don't reply to the group chat at 7:00 PM because that’s when I start my night job as a delivery driver. I don't come for drinks because the money for one bottle of beer is my sister’s transport fare for a whole week. I didn't want to come and be the 'vibe killer' by telling you guys how much I’m struggling. So I stayed away." He placed the envelope on the table. "It’s not much. Just something to help with your mom’s meds. I’ve been saving it to fix my car’s brakes, but the car can wait. You’re my brother." I looked at the envelope, then at the man I had spent months bad-mouthing. The friends who "showed up" for the fun were nowhere to be found when the lights went out. But the friend who was "too busy" was the only one who showed up at midnight. See, we often measure friendship by presence at parties, but the truest friendships are measured by presence in those difficult times. You shouldn't be too quick to judge the friend who has gone silent. Sometimes, they are using all their energy just to keep their own head above water... and yet, they’d still dive in to save you if they saw you drowning. Real friendship isn't about who you see the most; it’s about who shows up when everyone else has an excuse.... #Copied

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@_Sanessie

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