shanley

[shanley @_Shan_M]

Squirting on someone#bliss

[shanley @_Shan_M]

If I drink alcohol I am alcoholic, but if I drink fanta does that make me fantastic?

[shanley @_Shan_M]

Wild for the night fuck being polite!♬

[shanley @_Shan_M]

Ghetto word of the day: Omelet. Example-"I shoulda slapped yo ass but omelet it slide dis time."

[shanley @_Shan_M]

Only 3 types of people tell the truth! Kids, drunk people, and anyone who is pissed the fuck off!

[shanley @_Shan_M]

If it wasn't for my incredible willpower I would be exercising right now!

[shanley @_Shan_M]

That awkward moment when people think your drunk but actually your just naturally a blast!

[shanley @_Shan_M]

I'm planning on having my favourite drink this weekend, its called a lot

[shanley @_Shan_M]

Youv really gotta hand it to shot people! Because they can't reach it anyways!

[shanley @_Shan_M]

If I was given a dollar everytime someone told me to grow up, I would build an awesome tree house!

[shanley @_Shan_M]

Nothing brings a feeling of satisfaction quite like watching the karma train steam into I told you so station

[shanley @_Shan_M]

I don't care about what anyone thinks of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive!

[shanley @_Shan_M]

I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you

[shanley @_Shan_M]

If it weren't for sarcasm, how would I express myself in a non threatening manner..

[shanley @_Shan_M]

Everyone has an asshole friend, if you don't, you are the asshole!

[shanley @_Shan_M]

I don't bother to chose my words carefully anymore, people will just twist them up anyway

[shanley @_Shan_M]

One day I will solve my problems with maturity... Today however, I will solve them with alcohol!

[shanley @_Shan_M]

Every time I think I have my ducks in a row, they waddle off in all directions