Dana Tracy

Snarky fitness freak with a baking problem. I’d hike that.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Inevitably when you have sex in your 50s, some random body part will cramp that is not involved in the main event.
Listen middle toe, I appreciate your enthusiasm. Please hold your applause until the end of the performance.

[Mila Joy @Milajoy]

Legal Iranian immigrant wearing a Trump shirt is CONFRONTED by an old leftist at the gym.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Linen pants are only cute if you never sit down. One 10 minute car ride later, you get out wrinkled like a small elephant. End the linen lies.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Hard Flex: I got my SHEIN order in before the 84% tariffs.
#tarriffprivledge

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Women who weigh themselves on the public scales at the gym are a sturdier breed. Fully clothed. Number blaring in red for all passing to see. Psychopaths.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Marked safe from being added to a group chat by the National Security Advisor

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Petition to have online cams for viewing the parking lots at the gym and Costco so I know the situation before I leave my house. I need to be pre-annoyed

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Happy “make your significant other feel special regardless of the fact that in healthy relationships you should be doing it consistently and without a dedicated day” to all who celebrate. #hallmarkholiday

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Elon Musk and a team of autistic kids uncovering rampant government corruption is the modern American success story we all deserve.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

My team has a DCMA Audit the same day as my colonoscopy. At least I get to be asleep for my ass rape.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Starting a support group for all people who have to wear real pants for the first time in weeks tomorrow.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Shocked and appalled that a diet of pretty cocktails and charcuterie boards has consequences. Life is cruel and unfair.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Kudos to Netflix who dares to get their audio/visual equipment from Temu, and their commentators from a list of no name celebrities with no connection to boxing.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

PSA: If you’ve taken the time to carefully set up a camera to record your emotional meltdown, it comes off as manufactured, disingenuous and attention seeking. Leave the acting to the professionals

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

This scotch tastes like I’m going to spend money online

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

No one in the history of ever has relished the thought of going to Costco.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

I did not have “raining snakes” on my Friday Bingo Card but at this point I am not surprised by any apocalyptical event occurring in my presence. Maybe I’m a witch.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Me walking in the store: We aren’t going to forget ice.

Me on our way to the checkout: Don’t forget the ice

Me on our way out the door: SUNAVAH!!!

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Whispering “Not one of my finer moments” as if any of my moments aren’t a cacophony of cringe.

[Dana Tracy @_Shugamuffin_]

Happy Side Bitch Day for all of you second string that couldn’t celebrate with your man on the actual holiday since he was with his priority bitch. 😂