Aubrie McDaris

Dog, I'm pretty much the equivalent of a shitty text post.

[Jeffree Star @JeffreeStar]

I’m going to give away $30,000 to 1 random person who retweets this tweet AND follows Twitter Philanthropist @Pulte and Me!! (If you don’t follow us, we can’t DM you the money) Will show proof! Much love

[Aubrie McDaris @_TORTELLINI_]

No one:......
Not one person:........
Not a single soul:.....
@JeffreeStar in the Dominican Republic rn: IF YOU LIKE (virgin because we don’t drink sweetie) PIÑA COLADA
Love you girl relax and have a blast 💙

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

I knew it way back then and I’m absolutely convinced of it today — you’re one of a kind, @MichelleObama. Happy Birthday!

[Denny’s @DennysDiner]

a bunch of bananas is called a “hand” so when someone says their party got “out of hand” it means they ran out of bananas.

[kika ✨ @jvnhonq_]

this was such a iconic day jongup is so fine he really owns all of us and that’s a FACT

[Cole M. Sprouse @colesprouse]

I imagine the people who take my shitposts on twitter seriously are the same kids that used to scream at their parents in elementary.

[Cole M. Sprouse @colesprouse]

Finally, the reboot we’ve all been waiting for

[faith marie @spookyfaithh]

Me: you know, I really don't listen to twenty one pilots that much anymore. I think if they never came back I could respect that decision

Also me reading top theories:

[erika @erikahhhh_]

i need all the luck i can get rn https://t.co/wmQ8J8YqyG

[Jessie Paege @jessiepaege]

┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we
▔▏┗┛▕▔ stan
╱▔▔▔��▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
ratatouille
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

[Aubrie McDaris @_TORTELLINI_]

"Pandora doesn't work in this country" #VPNproblems

[Zedd @Zedd]

Rock, paper, SZA

[Cole M. Sprouse @colesprouse]

Could you imagine loving and raising a child only to have that child record a live concert on their phone?

[Jessie Paege @jessiepaege]

petition for the jessie paege ukulele videos to return

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." - A man who owned other men.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Stop.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

What part of the Bible did you get that from, Joe?
The part with all the guns in it? https://t.co/RO7Yupa9RM