Young Cheezy

Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

If you select "no" when the card reader asks you if the price is ok, Flo comes out and hands you the "name ya price" tool

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

Summary of "Phantom of the Opera":
Man squanders awesome facial scar by wearing mask, becoming reclusive weirdo

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

gf: does Lord of the Rings have Dumbledore in it?
Me: no and my life don't have u in it bye

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

"I'd like to finish the debate with the following question: what are you prepared to do to stop the growing threat of another Madea movie?"

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

I hate pledge season because my normal dad look is appropriated by a bunch of 18 year olds

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

I guess when Ryan slipped out, Rio went on Lochtedown #LochteGate

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

*King Arthur busts in*
THIS IS MY KNIGHT SONG
TAKE BACK MY WIFE SONG
MY END YOUR LIFE SOOOOOONG
Lancelot: Nononono

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

Everything on earth is either butter or not butter

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

I like bench pressing because I get to lie down

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

I think it's funny that highfalutin is a pretentious synonym for "pretentious"

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

@mollypinnix Tetzel's Pretzels?

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

Sometimes I think about calling out the guys who don't wash their hands in the bathroom but then realize: if we fight they might touch me

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

Carpe DM

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

1 kilogram is equal to 2.02 freedom units #TheMoreYouKnow

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

Short-term goals: to always have enough clean socks. Long-term goals: underwear too

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

Not sure what I hate most: test prep, test taking, or waiting for tests to be graded

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

If you're gonna be with me you have to understand that you'll never be #1. That's Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen.

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

If Ted Cruz were Batman he'd be the Caped Cruzader HahaHa date me

[The Onion @TheOnion]

U.S.–Cuba Relations End After Obama Hit By Foul Ball At Exhibition Baseball Game https://t.co/BcYmbP7YfB

[Young Cheezy @_The_Affidavid_]

They say that people only use 10% of their brains. Can you imagine if we used 100%? We'd have so many better shows on Netflix amirite