Taylor Fay

Actor • Musician • Coffee Lover • Internet Expert • Amateur Food Critic • Chameleon • Alien?

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

When I die, my Spotify Wrapped is going to flash before my eyes.

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

My 2021 post apocalyptic job is going to be a steampunk electro sailor. What's yours? #Wellerman #2021goals

[Microsoft @Microsoft]

To celebrate LGBTQI+ History month, we're giving away THREE @Xbox One X custom #Pride consoles.

RT this post for a chance to win. 🎮 #Sweepstakes #LGBTQI

Open in US/CA (excluding Quebec), 18+. Ends 10/18/2020. Rules: https://t.co/3Txq0yOOsh

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

@sleepy_hag It's so good though

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

Finally got around to watching the end of The Good Place, and boy did I cry. And I mean, I CRIED. Like full on wept. #thegoodplace #itwasperfect

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

@sleepy_hag Caycelynn literally had to hold me while I sobbed.

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

Guy Fieri for president 2020.

•Appreciates good food
•Everyone is his brother
•Would paint flames on everything like a true American

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

The entire city of Chicago when they announced a new Ventra app.

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

I totally respect the decision of #TheGoodPlace to only do four seasons. Even though it's one of my favorite shows of all time, and I'll be sad to see it go. More shows need to follow by example. #DontTreadWater

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

Me trying to figure out if Harry Styles singing Girl Crush makes the song more or less gay...

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

Me on the phone with my landlord the day after Thanksgiving: So you're saying you don't have a Black Friday special if I give you my rent check today?

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

Sometimes when I feel upset, I think if I just did the entire catfish scene from August: Osage County by myself, I'd feel so much better.

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

Don't tease me with your snaps, Team Snapchat! For a moment, I thought I had friends. #happyhalloween

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

I was thinking about how everything seems messed up, but then I had a thought that brought me comfort.

At least I don't have to worry about carnivorous plants.

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

My body: Hey, I think we might be getting sick.

Me: First of all, nobody asked you.

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

What if the NSA agent that watches you through the internet is also the same person who compiles your Discover Weekly playlist on Spotify? Thoughts? #Spotify #SeemsLegit #SorryIveListenedToTheSameSongOverAndOver

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

@RachelMynatt1 I LOVE YOU TOO ♡

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

I just spent a solid minute on my hands and knees, crawling on the floor because I was trying to locate the source of this "weird crinkly sound."

It was my sparkling water. Why am I like this?

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

Judge: You are hereby charged with arson for burning down your apartment building. How do you plead?
Me: Guilty.
J: Your sentence shall be prison forever, but I have one last question. Why would you do such an awful thing?
M: There was a spider, your honor.
J: jk lol you're free

[Taylor Fay @_TypicalTaylor_]

Whenever I get a facebook message from someone I don't know, the first question that pops in my head is, "Who the hell is this?"