Mike Oxlong

ka-chow

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

Testing

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@1ittlekid1over Coincidick

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@JTGords 🤪🤪 you crazy bro for real

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@shakilleoneill Aye yo don’t eva disrespect my twizzies like dat

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@TheIronTory Would you be my valentine?
I'll give you x's and o's,
Heart shaped candy,
And a little rose 🌹❤️

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

Does anyone else still do bunny ears? Asking for a friend

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

Warning: do not enter the restroom of the manhasset train station unless u want to witness the largest amount of explosive diarrhea to ever miss the toilet and only land on the seat and floor. #MyEyesWillNeverRecover #ThatPoorJanitor

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

Butt was grazed by a rabbi last night, but good thing I’ve been doing some squats לכבוד הרב #workhardplayhard

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

Hate to be the party pooper but sometimes you gotta go when you gotta go

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@1ittlekid1over while you’re in town I’d love to take you to a hot spot here. Amal after school let’s out has a lot of options if you know what I mean

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@JTGords No double dipping

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@JTGords It might as well be

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

If our technology is so advanced that we can make man can have a baby then why can’t Hulu fucking make the mouse disappear when I’m watching a movie #ImOnTheEdge #NotOfGlory

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@JTGords I will soap-port you every step of the way

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

@shakilleoneill Oh so you wanna get funky

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

My moment of weakness has passed. I’ll let the people decide how to unalive him:

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

Just found this tough guy. Can’t believe he made it through. I hope he can forgive me and we can move past our difficult history #hopethechemicalsdidntgivehimbraindamage

[Mike Oxlong @___MikeOxlong]

Watched a stink bug struggle to get out of a sticky situation for 10 minutes only for me to spray it with raid when he did. #NotToday #HeNeededToLearnALesson #CanYouTellIveBeenHomeForThreeDays #IhopeNot