*celeste

dodge duck dip dive and dodge #FreeBritney 💃

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

My husband is older than one of his professors 🙃

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

Baby formula in locked cases is the craziest flex on poor people

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

My husband has a mandatory appointment with his peer mentor at college. The mentor in question is 20 years old 🤣☠️☠️☠️☠️

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

Where do I put work related anxiety induced dream on my time card

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

I love my son more than anyone on this planet 🥹

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

Listening to my husband complain about his TA 🤣

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

A tragedy in 3 parts:

Toddler grabs dads brand new iPhone.
Dad says oh no hey buddy bring that here.
Toddler chucks iPhone.

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

My husband starts his traditional 4 year degree tomorrow and I’m preparing him by having him introduce himself and say one interesting fact about himself, drill sergeant style

[Boomhauer @_Boomhauer]

D̶a̶l̶e̶ ̶G̶r̶i̶b̶b̶l̶e̶
Rusty Shackleford.

THREAD 🧵

#RIPJohnnyHardwick

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

Ok fuck Netflix for telling me I can’t watch Netflix at work bc iTs NoT iN mY hOuSeHoLd. I (over)pay for a service for them to tell me where I can and can’t watch it? No thanks

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

Work: we’re all adults here, we expect you to make sound decisions and communicate effectively
Also work: let’s have a regional wide Disney themed bingo game and the winner gets a pizza party!!!

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

Was college even real

[Ricardo Gutiérrez | Anti-Genocide Era @icaito]

BREAKING: The United States

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

Having a toddler is like living with a drunk mini roommate whose sole purpose is to destroy your house

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

So annoying I have to go to work to make money

[The Onion @TheOnion]

“The company skipped the very crucial step of sending five lower-class people to the bottom of the ocean to make sure it was safe enough for the wealthy,” said Otto Scofield, a member of the Marine Technology Society. https://t.co/9R0nIy0MpM

[neon 🍁 @neon_heartbeat]

"if they died instantly what were those banging sounds" stop asking questions about the ocean. dont fuck with the sea. don't go there. i'll tell you what that noise was, none of our damn business that's what that noise was

[Joey⚡️ @joeygllghr]

Honestly at this point, who cares. Double my student loans. Triple them. I don’t give a shit. I don’t plan on paying them off anyways. Send me to debtors prison idc

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

@werew0lfgimmick She’s beautiful 😍

[*celeste @____qwerty_]

@werew0lfgimmick pics plz