I don’t think people realise how much of your personality can disappear when you don’t feel emotionally safe around someone. I become quieter. More careful with my words. Less playful, less expressive, less willing to let myself be seen. You’ll still know me. You’ll still recognize my face, hear my voice, and know the basic version of who I am. But you won’t know the version of me that comes out when I feel completely safe. The loud, silly, affectionate, unfiltered version that doesn’t have to think twice before being herself. What looks like a change in personality is simply a person becoming smaller because they no longer feel safe enough to be fully themselves.
Lord, remove everything in my character hindering me from going to the NEXT level. Remove all negative traits I picked up in my childhood or on the road I've journeyed. Create a PURE heart and renew a RIGHT spirit within me, in Jesus' name, Amen. (Psalms 51:10)
As a Black woman, I am deeply uninterested in spending the second half of my life proving how much I can endure.
I would like to explore how much joy I can hold.
For a RELATIONSHIP to really work, you gotta understand this: You and your partner are TWO different people, with two different pasts, trying to build ONE future. You didn't grow up the same, you won't always think the same, and that's okay. What matters is HOW you handle it. Communicate without turning everything into an argument. Listen even when you're frustrated. Stop keeping score and start choosing growth. Because every disagreement shouldn't create distance. It should build understanding
Maya Angelou was so right when she said ;
“The heart of a woman should be so well hidden in God, that a man, to find it, would need to seek God first.”
Nobody prepares you for how much quieter you become in your 30s. You stop needing to be seen, chosen, understood, or validated. You just want to feel rested, regulated, grounded, and at peace.
One thing I came to peace with is that I DONT HAVE TO. I don't have to go out of my way. I don't have to be the bigger person or try to maintain relationships. I don't have to fix anything I didn't break. I don't have to reach out to those who don't reach out to me. I don't have to support those who don't suppprt me. I don't have to try to make everyone happy.
Girl to girl: be her again. The one with discipline. The one who shows up for herself. Eat better again. Move your body again. Oil your edges, drink your water, glow from the inside out again. Pray again. Get your money right, protect your sleep, protect your peace.
Stop surviving. Start choosing yourself again.