/dev/zero

us export stuck in canada, tech shitlord, privacy absolutist, xoxo gossip girl

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I needed to move a sofa.

I mentioned this to an American. He said, "You know anybody with a truck?"

I did not know anybody with a truck.

He looked at me with real concern. Not pity. Concern. The way you look at a man who has told you he does not have a name.

"You gotta know somebody with a truck."

I asked how one acquires such a person.

He said, "You just do."

This is the third time I have received that answer in this country. It is the answer to everything here. You just do. There is no process. There is only the eventual fact of having.

He said, "Ask Kevin."

I do not know a Kevin. He said Kevin like I should. He said it the way you say a shared uncle.

I met Kevin four days later. Kevin owns a truck. Kevin does not own a truck for himself. Nobody owns a truck for themselves. Kevin owns a truck for a fifteen mile radius.

Inside I said: THIS MAN HAS TAKEN A VOW. HE DID NOT ANNOUNCE IT. HE SIMPLY PURCHASED A BED AND ACCEPTED THE CONSEQUENCES.

Kevin arrived on Saturday. He brought the truck. He also brought a second man.

I had not asked for a second man.

The second man's name is Tony. Tony came because Kevin came. Tony did not know me. Tony did not ask what we were moving. Tony brought gloves.

They moved the sofa in eleven minutes.

I offered them money. Both of them laughed at the same time, which felt rehearsed and was not.

I asked what I owed them.

Kevin said, "Buy the pizza."

That is the price. That is the entire economy. The truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable and the pizza is also not expensive and everyone knows what size.

Inside I said: THE FEE IS FIXED ACROSS THE ENTIRE NATION AND WAS SET BY NO ONE.

We ate on the floor because the sofa was against the wall and none of us wanted to be the first to sit on it.

Tony told me his daughter plays soccer. I asked if she is good. He said, "She's aggressive."

I still think about that.

Three weeks later, Kevin texted me.

"You free Sunday? Helping Tony move a fridge."

He did not ask if I wanted to. He informed me of a fridge.

Inside I said: I HAVE BEEN CALLED UP. I DID NOT ENLIST. THE PAPERS WERE FILED ON MY BEHALF.

I went. I moved the fridge. I have no truck. I contributed only arms.

Afterward, a man I had never met asked me if I knew anybody with a truck.

I said, "Yeah, I got a guy."

I have a guy.

I am somebody's guy now, too. Tony has told two people about me.

He describes me as "the guy who's strong for his size."

I have never been prouder of a sentence in my life.

[Fugitive Caesar @ThomBrady5]

Mass immigration from India

[���𝒂𝒓𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏 𝑵𝑴𝑲 🧉 @namekoisvnr]

Ma sœur m’a confié son fils trisomique pour l’après midi

[ian brash @iansbrash]

first day as a forward deployed software engineer did i forget to pack anything?

[Truth and Reconciliator @fleshsimulator]

He should have done something less bad like rape a 12 year old with a broken beer bottle and film it and distribute the film and tell her that if she told anyone, he was gonna go after her younger sister instead, if he didn't want to go to jail

[Sean // Game Dev🥀 @sean_gause]

@sama "yeah my dad AI generates podcasts about my upcoming birthday instead of talking to me while we drive to school"

[Financelot @FinanceLancelot]

I don't get it. Why are they confessing?

[George Alexopoulos @GPrime85]

"The kettle is boiling faster than we planned and the frogs are noticing"

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

calm tf down, samsung washing machine

[Juan Cruz @DevJuanCruz]

github actions? CI/CD? despertate pibe hay que abrir FTP y arrastrar los cambios

[Emperor of Mankind @Neoth69]

Hang people or shut the fuck up about it.

[High Yield Harry @HighyieldHarry]

Watching society become too cooked to even watch a tv show episode

[wally b kleeposting @kleeposting]

I can't express how lucky I was to have spent my formative years with an internet that was shaped by >110 IQ nerds instead of third world content farms struggling over 5$ of ad revenue

[Framework @FrameworkPuter]

Brand new ways for you to not own your computer anymore.

[skooks @skooookum]

If you’re not comfortable getting a little gay with your boys you won’t be comfortable getting really straight with your girl