food advocate

I picked a bad week to quit sniffing glue

[food advocate @_aiarys]

Finally found a ruler big enough to measure my dick

[food advocate @_aiarys]

rooting for a team in a relegation battle is hell wtf do you mean literally all the other bottom feeders also got points

[food advocate @_aiarys]

olympics really are just tricking millions of people into watching interpretative dance every two years

[food advocate @_aiarys]

whose bright idea was it to turn a good 90 minute film into a 150 minute musical by adding exclusively bad songs

[food advocate @_aiarys]

Neuschwansteiny Castle

[food advocate @_aiarys]

saw a child in a mcdonalds with an al-nassr jersey jesus fucking wept

[food advocate @_aiarys]

A pair of old people walked out of the cinema because of a snowman threesome scene smh todays elderly

[food advocate @_aiarys]

watched a man in the mcdonalds car park try and throw something away from his car window, attempt and fail to toss it in when he couldn’t reach it and then shake his head and drive away without getting out his car to finish the job I weep for humanity

[food advocate @_aiarys]

even if we don’t get promoted Santi Cazorla will remain the greatest unc in football

[food advocate @_aiarys]

Hard of hearing sedevacantist listening to Kendrick Lamar’s Alright be like “YES KENDRICK FUCK THAT FAKE POPE”

[food advocate @_aiarys]

my dad is now watching ai generated videos about angels and demons shit might be cooked

[food advocate @_aiarys]

the retirement home next door is doing a concert during siesta time gonna kms

[food advocate @_aiarys]

vlad the impaler but instead of putting people on stakes he just brags about how pasty his skin is

[food advocate @_aiarys]

biking to a math rock album, pedaling in alternating 7/8 and 13/8 time

[food advocate @_aiarys]

my dads thoughts on trump supposedly turning gaza into a new “french riviera” was:
“If that godforsaken place Albania can have resorts, I don’t see why not”

[food advocate @_aiarys]

firmly entering “the united states of america has lost the mandate of heaven” territory

[food advocate @_aiarys]

banking apps should add lootboxes that deposit directly into a long term savings account

[food advocate @_aiarys]

it’s been so long that I’ve actually been able to be in spain for reyes id forgotten that one of the traditions is a parade in which fistfuls of candy are chucked full force into crowds of children

[food advocate @_aiarys]

american in italy who thinks he knows how to translate “the boss” when blinded by the light comes on the playlist: “Oh hells yeah! Adoro ‘Il Duce’!”

[food advocate @_aiarys]

you gotta think that lot mourned his wife with tequila shots I mean the salts already there

[food advocate @_aiarys]

the notre daminutive