I heard someone say âWhen you spoil a man and do amazing things for him, he doesnât think you are amazing. He thinks HE is.â I canât unhear it.
her loss?
no, your loss.
you lost a woman who cared for you without being asked, remembered the little things, and always wanted to see you happy. someone who stayed through the hard days, gave you chances, and loved you even when you gave her reasons not to.
she didnât need perfection, she only wanted effort, honesty, and to feel chosen. she gave you all of herself, and one day youâll realize how rare that was.
so no, she didnât lose you.
you lost someone who loved you genuinely.
Gaslighting works like this. They do something cruel. Your nervous system reacts. They blame you for reacting. And when you try to address what they actually did, suddenly that conversation is never available.
I donât think people realise how much of your personality can disappear when you donât feel emotionally safe around someone. I become quieter. More careful with my words. Less playful, less expressive, less willing to let myself be seen. Youâll still know me. Youâll still recognize my face, hear my voice, and know the basic version of who I am. But you wonât know the version of me that comes out when I feel completely safe. The loud, silly, affectionate, unfiltered version that doesnât have to think twice before being herself. What looks like a change in personality is simply a person becoming smaller because they no longer feel safe enough to be fully themselves.