mama lex

$alexakdejesus

[mama lex @_alexakim]

#truecrime podcasts to binge while quarantined:
- 22 Hours
- Amy Should Be Forty
- Atlanta Monster
- Bardstown
- Bear Brook
- Broken Harts
- Chasing Cosby
- Counter Clock
- Culpable
- Dirty John
- Down the Hill
- Gladiator
- Happy Face
- Man in the Window

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@billburr : *to the tune of Santa baby* “Santa baby, I’ll fucking suck your dick for a duplex”
Me, in the car with my kids: *dying of laughter*

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@Mommavivianna2 @lakenbriannaaa @jamsugary1r Seems legit

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@lakenbriannaaa @jamsugary1r Right?! It’s like a quick $100 to the cashapp should confirm 😂😂

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@lakenbriannaaa @jamsugary1r Girl I’m getting the same messages from the same dudes... 😂

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@FirmsHarry Ummm no thank you

[mama lex @_alexakim]

Me: “I need a sugar daddy.”
Husband: “Me too.”

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@Jayecane No🤓

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@Jayecane $alexakdejesus

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@AldiUSA whoever put together the wine advent calendar took my Christmas joy away

[mama lex @_alexakim]

Watching cable tv and my 3 year old just asked us to pause it. Yikes

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@Jayecane Write a tweet

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@honeybuttabae Praying for your cousin... that’s so fucking horrible.

[mama lex @_alexakim]

Things that still make me mad when I think about them:
1. My mother in law literally telling me an exit doesn’t exist when I was trying to give her directions via a GPS.

That’s pretty much it.

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@chelseaperetti But do you need banana in banana bread? #askingthehardquestions

[mama lex @_alexakim]

So much pressure in my face and a stuffy nose. Yep it’s that time of year.

[mama lex @_alexakim]

Somebody make this happen. Please. PLEASE.
#harrypotter #snape

[mama lex @_alexakim]

Ah, yes. I can finally watch my TikToks in peace now that the husband and kids have left

[mama lex @_alexakim]

@Billyjensen yooo I’m looking into this unsolved murder case in my husband’s family. What am I able to request from the police??

[mama lex @_alexakim]

I’m so thankful my husband doesn’t see Trump as this good, Christian man because I would probably get divorced 🙃 #TrumpisaFAKEchristian

[mama lex @_alexakim]

$alexakdejesus

[J @Jayecane]

sending money to 8 more people! post your cashapp PayPal Venmo bitcoin

rt