@_alextrott

Table for one facing the wall please

[Neil @_Enanem_]

The Darkness are on the radio.

They should open one of their songs with ‘Hello Paul Simon, how are you?’.

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

Write to Dear Diedre at The Sun. She’ll know what to do

[The Times and Sunday Times @thetimes]

'I’m in a relationship with a wonderful person, yet I still can’t shake the guy in the pub or that evening. What should I do?'

Exclusive Sign Up Offer: 3 months for just £1

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

Remember to check your club’s Financial Statements before you celebrate #weirdo

[Simon Jordan @Sjopinion10]

How can #efc have a pitch invasion/ celebration after avoiding relegation by the skin of their teeth after spending half a billion ?

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

@lucullus You’re jumping the gun here. First you need to know what time they’re going to get her up and what they’re making her for breakfast

[Mirror Celeb @MirrorCeleb]

EastEnders' Natalie Cassidy has secret tattoo that she must cover for filming
https://t.co/LrQtSoI3sS

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

@JoelSnape I’m in 👍

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

Can’t wait for the school holidays when teachers come and do our jobs for us

[Brane design @Brane_design]

RT and i'll draw your avi

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

1. Put it in the bin and get cook some sausages instead

[Tasty UK @TastyUK]

3 Hacks To Make Tofu Taste Better

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

Wow. No-one knows what they’re allowed to do anymore anyway and we only have three

[BBC News (UK) @BBCNews]

Scotland to enter new five-tier Covid alert system https://t.co/7DUqNY7ypr

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

It’s got some competition but I reckon LinkedIn Stories could be the worst thing to happen in 2020

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

Definitely should have made him wear Partey 7 on his shirt

[Eddie Longbridge @EddieLongbridge]

Listen to what Mikel Arteta told Pepe as he was being brought on.

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

@mrdanwalker High cholesterol

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

Pep’s going out skateboarding after this

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

@GaryLineker @Priestley_AP @mrjakehumphrey @MarcusRashford You just do what you did here Gary

[Feverpitch (Blue Tick) @feverpitch]

Same amount of draws as the invincibles. Just need 20 wins from our final 14 games.

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

Can’t wait for this General Election. When does it start?

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

@gary_whyte @talkSPORTDrive I switch him off mate. Not worth listening to

[@_alextrott @_alextrott]

@1burnm Hopefully two of your players will have a bust up in the canteen in the lead up to the big event