Andrew Robbins

Progressive when it’s convenient

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

@Claimt9 haha this is fraud, don’t trust this fam

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

@Walmart hey hi I got charged for winning the collectibles drawing but my bank initially flagged it as fraud. I verified it wasn’t, so I Just wanna make sure I’m gonna receive what I won. Thanks!

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

I’m the type that drops something in my car and let’s it violently roll around the floorboards for six months.

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

Continuing to drive your 17 year old Camry after you’ve made it is such a giant flex

[Travis Greenfield @travgreenfield]

@MacFarlaneNews @jackmjenkins But did they have any cans of soup on them?

[Travis Greenfield @travgreenfield]

@SheaSerrano You’re the rancher and we’re all the raccoon trying to explain to all of our non twitter friends and family what the FOH army is

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Vote.

[Dave @lildickytweets]

Retweet if you want a season 2

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

If you were never brave enough to try bangs before, now’s the time.

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

For the full experience, head here: https://t.co/nVWU9MgMeP
#quarantinecribs https://t.co/VP5K4xLJJC

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

Alcoholism doesn’t exist during quarantine

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

If you’re proudly posting stories of you and your squeeze out at dinner right now, you’re stupid

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

Clapping when a server shatters a glass should be just as frowned upon as clapping when the plane lands

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

Why is it that my parents can’t even find the power button on the remote, but their dogs can change the input, turn on closed captioning, and record an entire season of This is Us?

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

@jimmyspowers You have to caps lock it then. I have spoken.

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

Don’t write awe when you mean aww

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

I’m a year late to this but I cannot get over every which way a person sits down on a chair, counter, or chaise lounge in #SuccessionHBO. It’s a revelation every time.

[Travis Greenfield @travgreenfield]

#bottlecapchallange SummerEdition

[Andrew Robbins @_andrewrobbins_]

True friendship is simultaneously participating in two completely independent conversations through two separate mediums with the same person