Cantus

Does art & words.
Prone to gravity. Please return to an upright position.
''anonymous texter'' - @matthewcrosby
#actuallyautistic

[Cantus @_Cantus]

I've not eaten an apple in weeks. The doctors are beginning to circle. I don't know how long my barricade will hold out. If anyone reads thi

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@ruthbratt how is your cat, is he still beautiful?

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@sorobotic This claims to be inspired by the same scent
https://t.co/wpN48rDdRz

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@sorobotic How much to buy enough magazines with the sample in to make up an entire bottle?

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@bouledenerfs_ Hey, are you on Bluesky? Only I've upset the Christians and I need help. It's something about “second temple Judaism“ and I'm way out of my depth. I just want to make jokes. Why can't I be left alone to do that?

[Jorkin B. Peanitson @bonerman_inc]

but im a jeep
im a vehicle
what the hell am i doing here
beep beep honk honk steer

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@northernassist Hi, the 2217 from Cuddington to Chester hasn't come. It is showing as running on time on the board and the app. I have been here since 2205 so I definitely didn't miss it.

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@MrJamesMcCann 9 years on and still baffled as to why you apparently thought I was Julia Donaldson

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@squigglyjelly She'd fit in well where I work. Has she considered a career at Royal Mail? She has management potential written all over her.

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@squigglyjelly She has a point. It's weird that they don't make ones that you can swallow... 🤦

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@_chris_stokes I've come back here especially to tell you I've found a `secret' cocktail bar you might like. Next time you're gigging in Chester, it's called The Disguisery, off Watergate Street. I've been done that road dozens of times and never noticed it. In an alleyway.

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@NotLikeTheCar Oh great, I'd successfully forgotten him. And now, as a result I've also remembered the existence of Milo and Nick Griffin (whom I'd blocked out for different but no less abhorrent reasons).

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@prophiphop Bird watching sounds like the excuse he told his wife for why he bought binoculars

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@reynoldsgareth @ComedyWorks It was extremely woooed of her friend to keep interjecting.

[T. Bernadetti @MrsRoyKeaneo]

Christmas dinner review part 2

"Thst fuckin potato deserved more from life".😂😂😂🇮🇪 #Garron

[T. Bernadetti @MrsRoyKeaneo]

#Garron reviews Christmas dinners.

"Put this back between your fuckin walls!'😂😂😂🇮🇪🎄

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@TomiCaws It's remarkable, happens to him in Malaga every year too. Never heard anyone speak a word of Spanish. Wandering round the streets talking loudly so the foreigners understand him.
Yelling "chips, mate. Dos Beer. Lager. L.A.R.G.E.R..." at tired waiters.

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@Ray_BlueThunder @Rainmaker1973 The one thing the priest in the Exorcist forgot to pack in his little bag.

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@kmaru1701 @Rainmaker1973 It's called physics https://t.co/328xFCqQFR

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@Ray_BlueThunder @Rainmaker1973 No, that's definitely ghosts.

[Cantus @_Cantus]

@Ed7342472820691 @Rainmaker1973 No, it's ball chain.